Love: Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 21:40 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 696

You deserved it 48 848

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 4 102

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By go fish - 08/07/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend gently pointed out that when we hug, it's our stomachs that touch first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 417

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 737

You deserved it 20 104

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 305

You deserved it 4 636

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 189

You deserved it 47 573

By wtf1234 - 03/05/2011 01:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 874

You deserved it 4 395

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 314

You deserved it 5 111

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 5 743

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 576

You deserved it 5 024

Next

Top comments

aymaureen 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:12

that is so hot i like the chubbys :]

GreenDaysGeekGrl 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:27

I totally awwed at this. It shouldn't really matter though because you have a boyfriend and I'm sure he still like/loves you still. :)

Comments

badumdum 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:11

AHAHAHA

Zhejan 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:19

Ugh, I can't "stomach" FMLs like these

BarryLeVon69 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:30

This is just TMI not a FML.

fmlfmlfml15 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:32

What's TMI? Too Much Information?

Slaught_fml 3

Monday 5 October 2009 1:33

This must be illustrated!

IgniteMe28 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:41

bahahahahahaa well at least we know she won't be on here: http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=31762 when they break up

IamSpartacus 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:43

TMI = this must (be) illustrated? Lol. Too much information.

Saccharide 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:44

Can we push to have three options instead of two? I agree, your life sucks; you totally deserved it; exaggerating much?

Ohnothingreally 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:50

I agree, illustration plz!

AhISnappedIt 0

Monday 5 October 2009 2:20

if it was illustrated it would look something like this http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=31879

Gasoares22 0

Monday 5 October 2009 2:31

LMAO datz Ritch....

skylinediver 0

Monday 5 October 2009 4:17

It's sad that out of the two actual words in your sentence, both are horrible misspelled.

Iamnotyourbf 0

Monday 5 October 2009 4:28

FYBL for having a whale as a gf. FATTIE!

the_stereotype 0

Monday 5 October 2009 5:49

i agree, illustrations, because right now the image in my head is your boyfriend being suffocated under your massive stomach rolls. yeah...i don't think he's really sleeping anymore.

liveBabylon 0

Monday 5 October 2009 6:05

ahahahah :) *Hi five* To the OP...Get of your fast ass! or stop complaining about it. Being fat is all down to you. God I hate fat people who are sad about it..ECK can't stand you people.

ogloc 0

Monday 5 October 2009 7:06

Be happy you even have a boyfriend, tubby.

itsnotfair 0

Monday 5 October 2009 10:48

Horrible or horribly? You fail at grammar nazism

Stupidpoorpeople 0

Monday 5 October 2009 10:55

Where the **** are people like you when there are fmls saying they are calling other people fat, cus they're getting to many YDIs.

lisaloise 3

Tuesday 6 October 2009 3:00

OH YES. I'd like to see this illustrated :P

bobbymullet 11

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:37

GTH. thanks

liindsey 25

Monday 5 October 2009 1:12

there*

fmlfmlfml15 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:18

Lol there seems to be a lot of typos in these incoming FMLs.

liindsey 25

Monday 5 October 2009 1:46

yay, thanks for fixing it!

aymaureen 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:12

that is so hot i like the chubbys :]

Nex_Iuguolo 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:12

get some exercise and eat healthier

nika10105 14

Saturday 27 August 2011 4:56

Even skinny ppl have rolls! Like me, I'm really skinny but I still have rolls

kizmet 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:16

their first what?

TRUBored 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:16

I'm an asshole.

EricaJoy 0

Friday 21 September 2012 6:40

You're an asshole

portlandrima 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:18

smothered by jabba the hut. greatest fantasy for all us hardcore starwars fans! :D

tukker 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:19

Fat chicks need love too...they just have to PAY!

TRUBored 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:19

Giggedy!

fml328 0

Monday 5 October 2009 4:09

i hope nobody comes in and ruins this fantastic dinner party...

Ashilivione 1

Saturday 20 August 2011 1:44

that's exactly what my brother says...

thatonekid2010 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:22

Grammar fail.

iFellytone 0

Monday 5 October 2009 1:22

"there" not "their"

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had two kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 266

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 4 794

The Top

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 187

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 211

You deserved it 39 904

Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 117

Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 1 015

Today, travelling in China, I was told to write a wish on a ribbon attached to a stone, and then throw it into a tree. The higher the wish lands, the greater the chance that it’ll come true. My wish landed in a trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 104

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 970

You deserved it 6 174