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Hard no

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 127

Prank wars

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 95

J'ACCUSE!

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Sterling

Today, after I'd been working a 14-hour day, my wife texted me to tell me how she would like to kill me. Apparently, the lid to the garlic container was not screwed on tight enough and it spilled all in the fridge. How is that my fault? FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 157

Jacked

By Anonymous - 21/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 96

Green fingers

By Claire - 11/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 128

Stasis

By LonelyGrl98 - 15/04/2024 11:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 202

OK then

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I'd bought. She looked at it and said, "This is pathetic. You shouldn't even bother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 84

Happy wife, happy life

By seriously - 12/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I got married and my wife has since gained over forty pounds of unhealthy weight. She's not depressed, she's very happy with the marriage, she's just "comfortable" now. We are in our early thirties, and we started off as workout partners. I've been going to the gym alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 206

Cough up, loser

By Kushi - 30/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in rush hour traffic and rushed to the daycare to pick my daughter up. They charged me a late fee for being one minute late. ONE minute. When I protested, the lady said she was gonna scream and call the police if I didn’t pay. It was my last $100 before next payday… next Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 175

Karma

By Justwantedathankyou - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Loudon

Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 892

You deserved it 1 555

Easy mark

By shawn - 30/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 972

Let me out

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I found out that shorts are inappropriate to wear in the office. If it wasn't the staff-wide meeting or my coworker telling me to change, I've been sitting in the back praying it's time to clock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 571

Romantic choice of movie

By Ritta - 05/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, the guy I’ve had a crush on for ever declined a date with me to see the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie because he isn’t interested in dating. I decided to go to see the movie on my own. I ran into him at the same screening I went to, all cozied up with another girl. What the hell does she have that I don’t? FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 524

The day of reckoning

By ImFvcked - 24/11/2023 12:00

Today, I went to a friend’s Friendsgiving party with my girlfriend. When I got there, I saw my wife’s supervisor from her job. He recognized me, too. When I tried to save face saying my girlfriend was my sister, she got upset and corrected me. Way to throw me under the bus, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2 063

The pros and cons

By Anonymous - 05/01/2024 16:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I realized I'm trapped. I might be heading into an abusive relationship that I won't be able to escape, but I can't leave because then I'd break his heart and I love him too much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 1 036

This is why we can't have nice things

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 104

Exploited

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 98

Cat Burglar!

By Aimee Lutz - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 1 334

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Emmmsie - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my new passport arrived, along with my expired one and its 20-year-old picture. I was comparing the photos when my husband came to look. He laughed and said, "Time is cruel." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 665

You deserved it 584

It's PC gone mad

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 13:00

Today, I received a written warning at work for being "unacceptably rude" to an official visitor. I guess fetching the fire hose because the building was actively on fire wasn’t a valid excuse for yelling at the dozy cow stood blocking the door to “move out the fucking way.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 149

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I had to sit and listen in mortification as my mother tearfully told our therapist how much sleep she loses over my being morbidly obese. She doesn't seem to care that I'm body positive and happy with the way I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 031

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 543

Don't do the crime if you can't stop falling down

By NessyC - 30/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to the salon to get some acrylics done. They increased the prices recently and it was more expensive than expected. I didn’t have enough money in my account to cover the service, so I planned on running out when I had the chance. I ended up running out only to faceplant in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 476

Sock it to me

By Vacation over - 02/11/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, as we packed for a vacation, I saw my boyfriend pack several pairs of the ugly gray socks he knows I hate. I took and threw them away before we left. One flight, cab ride, and furious argument later, I learned that one pair had an engagement ring wrapped up inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 578

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 970

Loving

By HeatherFeather - 23/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I was seeing told me it wasn’t gonna work out and that he wished me the best. Apparently I acted “too desperate” for his liking. Gee, I’m sorry, but I guess showing basic decency like buying you a birthday present, buying you lunch everyday, and allowing you to use my Netflix, AKA being loving, is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 560

Weird advice

By Lily - 10/12/2023 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, it's been two years since my husband promised improvements if I stayed. He abided and we're good, despite a counselor insisting it was mere narcissistic manipulation, without ever meeting him. Did I mention she also claimed it would be "empowering" for me to leave, and set "a good example" on our kids? FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 203

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 141

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

Mixtapes are my love language

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, at college, the weird guy who stares at me every day came over, said, "I've made you a mixtape," then handed me an old, empty Queen's Greatest Hits CD case and scuttled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 266

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 125

The Top

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

Today, I can't seem to get off having sex with my wife. I've tried going to brothels, but I just end up watching YouTube shorts with the girls after failing to finish. The only thing that gets me off now is masturbating in my bed to the memory of an affair I had with a woman back in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 1 208

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 573

You deserved it 3 776

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 727

You deserved it 3 059

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 1 631

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 77 756