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By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 13:45 - Belgium - Herenthout

Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 362

You deserved it 2 200

By ghostninja4593 - 02/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 215

You deserved it 1 415

By areyoukiddingme - 01/10/2015 05:56 - United States - Phoenixville

Today, I met my boyfriend's other girlfriend. She then informed me that he has a wife, and that they have an open relationship. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 2 475

By Bawsack - 22/11/2016 09:45 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I missed an important meeting at work because I was vomiting from painful cramps. Just last week I was recommending that everyone get the implant because I hadn't had symptoms in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 686

You deserved it 1 378

By Lexxiluvstwat - 15/05/2018 20:30

Today, I was written up at work and sent home 20 minutes into my shift. My boss thought I was under the influence of something, but it’s really just the first time I’ve come to work with no makeup on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 506

You deserved it 377

By Noah - 02/11/2016 14:24

Today, a friend pointed out to me that I bear a striking resemblance to Anne Frank. I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I'm inclined to agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 490

You deserved it 829

By smoothies14 - 12/09/2015 01:15 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up terrified, scaring my roommate. What was the dream? That I'd had a panic attack because my box of Honey Nut Cheerios was torn and the bag inside was improperly folded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 4 375

smoothies14 tells us more.

smoothies14 32

Sunday 13 September 2015 6:46

The sad part was there wasn't even a box of cheerios in the room at the time (even though there usually is). I had to go to my food spot and double check anyway so I could sleep.

By Too Many Layers - 24/10/2016 18:43 - United Kingdom - Newton Abbot

Today, I found out my landlord has bought himself a new boat. He refuses to turn up the heating to save money. I'm freezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 09:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, for the 2nd time in a month, I've been rear-ended at a stop light. One insurance company refuses to pay because of prior damage from the 1st accident, and the other won't pay because of new damage not caused by their client. I just want my car back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 712

You deserved it 203

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Healthy relationship

By scared - 24/06/2020 23:02

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 576

All weddings are themed

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 20:08

Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 232

By DabTheFuckOut - 16/09/2016 19:35 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I finally said yes to a date with a guy. I was hesistant due to him being quite a bit younger than me. On our date, he dabbed 27 times. Yes, I actually kept count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 554

You deserved it 1 140

By Bikeless - 20/08/2018 18:48

Today, four kids strolled into my building, asked the receptionist where the bikes were kept, and walked out with four bikes twice their size, including mine which had a flat tire. The receptionist waved them goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 356

You deserved it 197

dino-rex tells us more.

dino-rex 16

Monday 20 August 2018 16:15

I did watch... the security footage afterwards. It was actually my residential building. It was Saturday, I was out of town, and when I got home, the management kindly informed us that the idiot receptionist did nothing but watch when the kids took the bikes. And when I say kids, I mean KIDS, they were no more than 12! They very obviously did not live there (residents all know where the bikes are because they are VERY visible), so my guess is that the receptionist (a guy, by the way) was actually in on the plan to steal the bikes. Sadly, there has been no action taken.

By geekyteendisaster - 25/09/2018 07:30 - United States - Littleton

Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 287

By SeriouslyEvery - 11/08/2016 16:12 - United States - Truxton

Today, I woke up at 3:45 am, and got ready to leave my house before 5, since I needed to be at my new job for orientation at 6. When I got there, I realized they actually meant 6 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 550

You deserved it 3 175

SeriouslyEvery tells us more.

SeriouslyEvery 5

Friday 12 August 2016 5:59

OP here. I assure you I follow directions very well. I asked and he told me AM, so I got ready until my brother, who also just started there, assured me it was PM

By IGiveUp - 07/10/2018 13:30

Today, at work, I took a call from an angry customer. After listening to his problem and fully explaining how we could fix it, he called me a stupid girl and said I need more training as I obviously know nothing about my job. I'm the company training coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 216

Baby come back

By Therunawaymoh - 11/10/2018 12:00

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 370

You deserved it 362

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 15:30

Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 445

You deserved it 351

By H.B - 14/10/2018 17:30 - Germany

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 076

You deserved it 152

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 342

You deserved it 7 042

Mystery

By Anonymous - 17/07/2016 14:51 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 1 981

By HowBoutNo - 08/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got a few splinters at work. In the middle of trying to remove them, my coworkers noticed and decided to "help". Ten minutes later, the splinters are gone and so is the random mole on my palm I've had my whole life. My hand hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 274

You deserved it 379

Roroma tells us more.

Roroma 6

Tuesday 6 November 2018 19:25

Hey OP here it’s my FML but it won’t let me log into my account so I’m using this old one. My hand was a little infected but it’s all healed now so now worries. The mole’s gone af though...

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston