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Groundhog Day

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, my brother and his girlfriend are fighting about something they agreed on YEARS ago. Every couple of months this argument comes back and his girlfriend changes the rules or the definition. I can’t believe she gonna become my sister-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 104

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Marshfield

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 169

Risky Google search

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 22:00 - Malaysia - Kajang

Today, I discovered a cool song called, "I Don't Wanna Die" by a Korean band, VINCIT. Wanting to find out more about it, I googled its title. Instead of relevant results, I got the phone number to a suicide prevention hotline. To make things worse, now all my social media are filled with ads about suicide prevention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 198

Loud and clear

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 84

Fishy

By Kristyn - 09/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 347

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 216

Not now, Doris

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 85

Cut off

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 05:00

Today, a friend told me he no longer wishes to be my friend, not because I did something, just because he no longer looks forward to seeing me, counts down every minute until a socially acceptable time to leave, and is always thinking up excuses to either be late or not come at all. Wow, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 174

Accident waiting to happen

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 21:00

Today, after my husband bought our son a sword for Xmas, sure enough, I found a stab mark in my living room wallpaper, and the sword now has a bent tip. My son denies everything and my husband claims I’m overreacting by yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 210

Fair and balanced

By Sorry Dad! - 09/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my family has begun preparations for my dad's birthday party. We figured out that the closest date that will work is the fifth of June. Also today, I got a letter in the mail. I have jury duty. Take a wild guess what day it's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 88

Think again, ******

By gorilla warfare - 10/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my son crying and packing a bag, with his laptop smashed on the floor. He said he needed to run away because a "crazy military guy" was coming to kill him. I logged in to his account and found that someone had sent him the Navy SEAL copypasta. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 127

Handle with care

By How the hell - 03/01/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I know my grandma has been getting frail as she rapidly approaches the ripe old age of 80, but I had no idea it was so bad that she could break her arm by sneezing. When I tried to explain this to the ER doctors, they all started snickering. Yeah, I don't believe it either, doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 114

Not this again

By Anonymous - 20/07/2024 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I woke up with my back super sore. I couldn’t get out of my bed without crying and great difficulty. The last time my chronic pain was like this it went on for three months and I could barely move. It was absolutely awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 65

Livin' the dream

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 00:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, I’m finally on the very expensive dream trip I’ve been planning for months and… I have a debilitating migraine that’s making me bed-ridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 63

Adulting

By FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 186

Dodging a bullet

By Lard - 19/09/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 513

Hit that like button and click the bell!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss told me he'd found my YouTube channel and was very disappointed that in my videos I’m always happy, yet when I’m at work I’m not, so he’d appreciate it if I could seem happier while at work. I work in a soulless office with grey walls, but sure, I’ll work on seeming happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 129

Place in the world fades away

By What - 07/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 73

Cash machine

By Loser Ninong - 24/07/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my sister attempted to get me to fund her daughter, my godchild's, birthday party. I told her I would give her 200 (which isn't much). Our mom "intervened" by cussing me out for being a cheap ass piece of shit. I was about to give her $200, which is A LOT in our currency when exchanged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 109

And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?"

By gus98 - 17/08/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went outside and walked to my car, only to see someone had hit and run my car while it was parked. My insurance company deemed my car a total loss. The person who did this never got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 92

Bullshit jobs

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 06:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, and ever since someone hired our new manager, she began threatening us, saying she was going to fire us because we "never work." In the meantime, she delegates her tasks, and is never available online. So, finally, our director thought she deserved a salary increase for… not actually doing her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 90

Watch your step

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have now reached the point in the financial landslide of my life that the only thing of value I have managed to hold on to is my life insurance policy, which I just manage to pay for every month. It says something that I am now actually worth more dead than alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 94

Only skin deep

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I've been married for 17 years. I struggle with OCD and there are some things I can't get past mentally. One is tattoos. I have no sex drive toward women with tattoos. Friends only if they have tattoos. My wife knows this issue. My wife got her first 4 tattoos in February. Why?? Sex drive gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 369

Bless her heart

By oh honey - 22/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old reacted with shock and horror when she learned that a single utility bill can amount to more than 200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 154

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 86

Fur babies

By Sad cat owner - 25/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to adopt a cat with little success since my last one died. My other cat, who had grown attached to him when she realized he was dying, has been lazier and more prone to seeking attention than before since he passed away. I now know cats can suffer from depression. I feel bad now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 130

It's all subjective

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a beginners’ painting class. She and everyone else was able to produce a painting significantly better than mine, and I got laughed at for my lack of skill. I’ve been painting for twenty-five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 195

Business tip

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found a necklace on Marketplace identical to one my wife lost years ago, so I agreed on a price and drove over to get it for Christmas. There was no necklace and I now know that prostitutes will pretend to sell an item they’re photographed wearing, when in fact they are selling themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 144

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I heard the cat flap so I called out, “Hello my darling!” When the noise continued but no cat appeared, I went to check and it turned out that "My darling“ was a rat that had just figured out the mechanism and was working up the courage to come in and steal my chicken feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 126

Treat yourself day

By anon - 20/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my in-laws surprised us with an unannounced visit. I was in the middle of my weekly self-care routine, which includes a green face mask, curlers, and a bathrobe. When I opened the door, they looked horrified and my mother-in-law whispered, "Is this a bad time?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Depends, do you believe in aliens?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 108

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 752

You deserved it 13 280

Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming class reunion. Turns out it was an invite via Facebook that I didn't receive because most of my classmates are on my block list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 7 847

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 225

You deserved it 2 491

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141 777

You deserved it 13 775

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 76 951