The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

Alexa, play "Athlete Cured" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 569

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 368

The fear

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I was going through my Facebook feed when I saw a post of a man being wheeled to the emergency room with a spider stuck in their ear. The post has me scared enough to want to sleep with earplugs. I'm a 37 year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 135

The R-word

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 08:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I completely forgot the word "redeem", I had to Google search it. I was trying to look for the word that started with an "R" that was used when you use a coupon. All I could remember about the word was that it started with an "R". FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 112

Merry Christmas, I guess!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 806

Combo breaker

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 19:00

Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 824

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 122

Make it stop

By Jill03 - 22/08/2024 20:00 - South Africa

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 130

Pragmatism

By Dee - 10/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to admit to my partner that occasionally when feeling I'm depressed, I binge eat until my stomach hurts. His response? "We can't financially afford you doing that." I guess finances mean more to him than my mental health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 423

Austerity measures

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 108

Plans

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted to do this weekend. It’s been so long since she asked, I froze up, unable to think of anything I might enjoy doing that she wouldn’t immediately say no to. It ended up the same as every weekend; we now have plans to go shopping, then visit her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 484

Dude, gross!

By juggalo2 - 17/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 465

Heftychonk

By Wha happen? - 11/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat went from a badass huntress to the tuxedo equivalent of Garfield in just four years. She's only 6. I don't overfeed her and try very hard to keep her active. I have no idea why she got so fat and lazy. I do know that dealing with bugs by myself is something I can't afford to do adequately right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 167

Bad day

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I looked up 8 videos, questioned my entire existence, actually hurt myself, and cried profusely trying to open a bottle of wine. Just in case anyone thought I was smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 359

My body is a temple

By My body hates me - 20/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, thanks to my eating habits as of late, I went half the day without getting hungry. I ultimately figured out this just happens sometimes, so I didn't worry. However, as soon as I crawled into bed, I got hungry. I now have two options: I can either stay awake from hunger, or stay awake from eating too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 217

Wellness check

By Puri - 10/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized I forgot to cancel a free trial for a meditation app. So, ironically, I now owe $40 to an app that’s supposed to reduce stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 258

Demon work

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I texted my boss to tell him that I'd be late because of a dentist appointment. Auto-correct decided to change "dentist" to "exorcist." So, I ended up sending, "Sorry, I’ll be late today. I have an exorcist appointment." My boss's reply was, "Take all the time you need." Now he looks at me like I’m possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 300

It's not what you think!

By HenryJ - 22/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 116

Romantic choice of movie

By Ritta - 05/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, the guy I’ve had a crush on for ever declined a date with me to see the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie because he isn’t interested in dating. I decided to go to see the movie on my own. I ran into him at the same screening I went to, all cozied up with another girl. What the hell does she have that I don’t? FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 525

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 23:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, it's been an exact month since everything went wrong with me and the girl I put 100% efforts to just talk to. My heart has never felt no heavy, and I wish I was a bit more attractive. The greatest pain that comes to your heart is when you love someone who you can never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 362

Panic! at the grocery store

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 314

Club Tropicana

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 515

I'm not your real mom

By Phillip - 24/10/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was talking to my boss when I let slip, "Love you, bye," at the end of a phone call out of habit. We both paused, and then he hung up without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 180

It's not what you think!

By Paula - 24/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to work when I noticed a cute guy ahead of me. He turned into every single street that I needed to take, and I started to worry he might think I was following him. Just as I was about to overtake him and prove I wasn't a creep, he turned into the building where I work. He's the new intern. Now I have to avoid eye contact for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 225

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 85

Blush

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 104

Terms and conditions may apply

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 347

Go vegan!

By Anon - 28/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I posted in the family group chat, asking if there would be plant-based food options for the Memorial Day barbecue, since I am vegan. All they sent were laughing emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 808

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 18/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 776

Jacked

By Gertland - 26/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I went to the gym and approached a machine I had never used before. After a few minutes of awkward attempts, an instructor came over and politely informed me I was using it completely wrong. The worst part? It was the stretching machine, and I thought it was for abs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 242

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Thanksgiving Argument Kids Parenting Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 2 693

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 800

The Top

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 141

You deserved it 10 355

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 9 840

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 862

You deserved it 3 835

He's doing his doggone best.

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 105

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 300

You deserved it 4 339

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 329

You deserved it 2 588