All the FMLs

By wookieewhosshe - 22/07/2019 06:43

Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in 4 days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 153

Ah, puppy love…

By Unlovable - 22/07/2019 04:00

Today, I was texting my crush. He wasn’t really into the texts because he was barely replying, until he texted back calling me "Baby." I got so excited, I almost cried, until he corrected himself and said that the text wasn’t for me. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 535

By xXPikachuXx - 22/07/2019 02:01

Today, after 3 months of job hunting, I finally got a job. But now my birth certificate and social security card are somehow lost, and I can't start until I let them see a copy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 400

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 22/07/2019 00:01

Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 276

By Former Professor - 21/07/2019 22:00

Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 124

You deserved it 206

SHUT UP

By Anonymous - 21/07/2019 16:15

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 94

Pay attention

By stickyickystone - 21/07/2019 14:12

Today, I got my hand caught in a belt sander while sanding down what was supposed to become a "Caution" sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 373

By LostSoul - 21/07/2019 12:10

Today, I arrived at the doctor's to schedule surgery to find out my insurance got canceled again. I only just got it reinstated after the last time they screwed up and canceled it. It took me 6 months to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 115

By ChloeisaDoll - 21/07/2019 06:01

Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 125

By Ladyfarquard - 21/07/2019 04:03

Today, I got charged with drink driving, without even driving my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 556

By darknight - 21/07/2019 02:03

Today, I found out that pretending to be a bum begging for money can get you stuck in a jail cell for a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 3 938

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:06

Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 129

Are you?

By lxygrl - 20/07/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City

Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 130

By TooFast - 21/07/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt

Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 200

By DrunkenMum - 20/07/2019 12:00

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 110

Love isn't…

By bruh - 20/07/2019 06:20

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 712

You deserved it 216

By Oopsie - 20/07/2019 04:00

Today, nine hours into a ten-hour shift, I accidentally told a customer, "You're a problem!" instead of, "You're welcome!" or, "No problem!" She gave me a dirty look and hurried off before I could correct myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 265

By amy - 20/07/2019 02:09

Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 151

By ladygrey - 20/07/2019 00:08

Today, my daughter informed me that she hates everything about her appearance and wants to get every possible plastic surgery when she’s older. She’s 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 236

By InnocenceBlue - 20/07/2019 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 122

By Youalreadyknowmyname - 19/07/2019 14:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, a guy asked me my name and I told him it's Holly. He then asked if I was "real or a Holligram?" Apparently, The Office is the best, and only place to get pick up lines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 275

By DrunkPeopleSuck - 19/07/2019 16:00

Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 127

By LostSoul - 19/07/2019 14:02

Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 104

By caligirl4ever - 19/07/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got robbed. He was so depressed about all the stuff we lost, I decided to cheer him up with a lap dance. I told him to sit on a chair. We have no furniture left. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 06:01

Today, my car horn got some sort of short and started beeping every 20 seconds or so. On the way to get it fixed, I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Behind a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 128

It's all too much

By twistedelegance - 19/07/2019 04:00

Today, I failed my driving test, and didn't get my great new job that a buddy helped me get. He got fired, and they won't hire me because he recommended me, regardless of how qualified for the job and how great the interview went. He called to tell me an hour before my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 168

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 20:00

Today, my father, who I haven't spoken to in over 12 years, contacted me. He just wanted to let me know that I should get tested for a rare neurological disease. The only thing the man has given to me since my conception is potentially a death certificate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 995

Keywords

Transportation Accident Thanksgiving Cars Dogs Alcohol Awkward Love Embarrassing Scary Animals Work Annoying Pizza Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Stressed out Miscellaneous Family Kids Parents Confused Exhausted Thief Relatable Argument Money Birthday AITA

The Top

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 492

You deserved it 4 181

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 8 079

The Top

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 224

You deserved it 3 589

Today, my sister announced her engagement to my ex-boyfriend, who she’d stolen from me. She got upset that I told her I’m not attending her wedding, nor congratulating her. Since she’s “Christian” her logic is “What God joined together, let no man separate.” Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 138

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 050

You deserved it 3 221

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 4 209

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 354

You deserved it 9 046