It's okay you guys, I got it all sorted out not too long after I submitted this FML. My little sister got in trouble and I received more time on my essay which I passed so everything turned out great on this one. ^__^

By Ruinedchristmas - 28/11/2014 18:07 - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 594

You deserved it 13 921

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 17:46 - United States

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 5 246

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 2 922

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 15:34 - United States - Waterville

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 576

You deserved it 4 515

Scared

By Anonymous - 18/11/2014 23:43 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 764

You deserved it 6 772

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 15:47 - United States - Rochester

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 864

You deserved it 4 097

By wtfdad - 16/11/2014 05:29 - United States - Little Silver

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 23:48 - France

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 332

You deserved it 2 705

Teenagers in love

By Anonymous - 09/11/2014 18:23

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 616

You deserved it 5 532

By NoBabies - 09/11/2014 04:06 - United States - Tucson

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 539

You deserved it 5 009

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 944

You deserved it 4 322

By hellalegit - 07/11/2014 06:26 - United States - San Jose

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 579

You deserved it 4 418

hellalegit tells us more.

hellalegit 18

Saturday 8 November 2014 1:54

OP here :) So just a little background: I was in fact using spray cans of paint so I was doing it in the driveway because I didn't want to damage the grass in my backyard. The little kid comes over when I turn my back for two seconds and annihilates it. His mom just laughed when I told her ugh :( Fortunately, although the project was due today, I got an extension from my super cool teacher :)

By ozozl - 07/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 3 878