Kids

Mind your own *******

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 22:00

Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 413

Stalked

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 01:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'm currently being stalked/harassed by my narcissistic ex's new baby mama. She's trying to get me fired from my new job for taking her man, when in reality I want nothing to do with him. The fact that she has taken my baby's name and named their daughter it, is freaking me out. She has people find me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 151

Forever 14

By Anonymous - 12/03/2023 22:00

Today, I went to my parents' for dinner, who greeted me outside and immediately my mom said, “What are you wearing? Go to my room and change your shirt.” I was with my husband and I’m 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 139

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 175

Tardy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I had to tell my daughter 7 times to get ready for school. I packed her lunch, made her breakfast, got her clothes ready for her, and yet it still took her half an hour to get dressed, making me just under an hour late for work due to peak hour traffic. Traffic I would have beaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 652

Misunderstood artist

By poop eater - 10/03/2023 00:00

Today, my son drew a picture of me eating. When I demanded to know why he had drawn me eating poop, he starting crying and said, “It was meant to be chocolate!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 465

Three is the magic number

By Anonymous - 09/03/2023 18:00

Today, my mother-in-law proudly posted a photo of “all three” of her grandsons on Facebook. She has four. Somehow my son was forgotten, even though we live close by and see her regularly. I guess we’re not memorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 116

Asshole move

By Bloodmybutt - 09/03/2023 12:00

Today, my sister decided to have her baby shower on my birthday. I recently had a miscarriage and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 121

Parks and recreation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 864

You deserved it 2 326

Misogyny gone mainstream

By get out! - 06/03/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, my brother-in-law introduced my son to Andrew Tate videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 190

Kids can be so harsh

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 21:00

Today, I was using the bathroom and my butt stuck to the seat a little bit, so when I got up, the seat unstuck itself and came down loudly. The girl who was also in the bathroom went running out, saying that I pee with the seat up because I have balls. I spent a while trying to convince other kids that I really was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 124

Just eat it

By salt bomb - 02/03/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 138

Betrayed

By Whaaaaaaa - 02/03/2023 12:00

Today, my mom had a fit and confessed that my grandfather is also my father. Apparently, I was the product of a rape and she further confessed that she was going to abort me but chose not to, and she regrets her decision. What caused this conversation? Me watching the season 4 of "You" without telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 169

The boy is mine

By Not the daddy-o - 01/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 89

Wrap it

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I’m 16 years-old, father to a 4 month-old baby, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 1 646

Competitive

By Crazy mom - 28/02/2023 02:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I've been relentlessly refreshing my email. I'm anxious and expecting the results of a competition. It's my preschooler's playdough competition results. What has my life become? FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 786

It's always in the most obvious place

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 14:00

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 189

Fur babies

By going no contact in 3…2..1 - 27/02/2023 06:00

Today, my insane mother refused to pick me up from school. Her reason was my “little brother” didn’t feel like going in the car. I got upset and snapped that her dog is not my brother when she tried to ground me. She won’t cook, clean, or take care of her family, all for that damn dog. I can’t wait to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 108

Jam it in my ears

By missmom83 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Torrington

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from third grade and figured out how to play the highest-pitched note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of Ibuprofen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 592

You deserved it 5 670

Cute but messy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 00:00

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 213

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 339

Take this seriously!

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 06:00

Today, I got the hiccups while my dad was yelling at me. He then said, “You’d better stop hiccuping or I’m gonna kick your ass!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 136

Big book of baby names

By isthisajoke - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my newborn brother "Titan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 640

You deserved it 2 553

No uggos please

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsbluff

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 4 555

I like what you've done with the place

By Tyrez - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Boulder

Today, my stepbrother's attempt at making a snack resulted in the microwave catching on fire and the everlasting smell of burnt pizza rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 325

You deserved it 1 875

The great pretender

By abbielane - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 568

You deserved it 3 909

Unfair

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I got into trouble for moving my chair around in class, which went on my permanent record, while other people were literally throwing things across the room and being loud but they didn't get in trouble. Tomorrow's my birthday and now my parents won't let me go out, even after I told them what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 152

Highway code

By lucy the witch - 20/02/2023 14:00

Today, my son got pulled over for speeding. His excuse? The speed limit signs “aren’t posted often enough,” so he “forgot” what the limit was. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 220

Maintenance

By Anonymous - 19/02/2023 14:00

Today, a maintenance crew came to shovel outside our apartment at 1:00 a.m. They were a hired third party so our usual maintenance guy can't stop them, they didn't speak English for me to communicate, and the cops don't consider shoveling a noise complaint. They woke my kids, and I have to be up again in a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 275

Harsh

By jet - 19/02/2023 00:00

Today, I overheard my mom talking about how she would love me if only I didn’t have ADHD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 113

Keywords

Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Health Family Awkward Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Love Drunk Dogs Animals Poopoo peepee Annoying My ex Work Religion Shopping AITA Break-ups Cheating Intimacy Am I overreacting? Delivery Furniture

The Top

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 139

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 179

You deserved it 5 878

The Top

Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 180

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 824

You deserved it 3 611

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 125

Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 530

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost so I asked a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said, "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 536

You deserved it 20 966

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 305

You deserved it 40 847