Love

May December vibes

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 2 693

Classy

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 21:00

Today, my date turned up with her baby. Funny she never mentioned she was a single mom. She went to the bathroom and left the baby with me. Can you see where this is going? Yep, security footage showed that she walked out without looking back. I had to give the baby to the police. Shame on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 100

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 310

A slight overreaction

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our daughter has actually been dating a decent guy, compared to the usual losers, and was going to meet his parents. My wife put her foot in it by repeating over and over again how important meeting the parents is. She psyched her out so bad, she cancelled meeting his parents and dumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 115

You what?

By whattheheck - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 618

You deserved it 3 567

Great guy

By Mxmarie - 30/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, like every month, I need to summon the courage to tell my husband that I’m on my period. When he finds out, he’s gonna go out and sleep with other women until it’s gone. He has “urges” and “needs sex every day” and if I "can’t give it to him someone else will.” I’m disabled and can’t afford to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 176

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 016

You deserved it 3 141

Please tell us more

By Joey - 29/05/2024 05:00 - United States - Stockton

Today, it was supposed to be a big date day for my girlfriend and I. She really loves a specific video game, so I did what I thought was special on it. I learned the hard way that doing so ruined the entire day for her over the video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 349

Average Slowdive gig

By Vladymyr - 29/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I met in person a girl I’ve been talking to on Facebook Messenger. We went to a concert of a group we both like, then dinner, and had lots of fun. At the end of the night I realized she’s amazing as hell, and I’ve fallen in love. Our compatibility is unmatched. The problem is that I have a girlfriend of 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 1 413

Busted

By Don13 - 28/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my soon-to-be ex-wife had installed a Ring front door camera. The way I found out was when the PowerPoint presentation I was supposed to present at work started with the footage of me taking my girlfriend to the house when my wife wasn’t around. The next slide said, “Call your lawyer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 679

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 20:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I don't know what to do. I like my BFF, and I really don't know what to do. I want to confess my feelings for her, but I don't think she will like me back because we're only supposed to be friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 177

Tips Fedora

By UglyBoi4Lyfe - 28/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I had to watch as the girl I love got her heart stomped to pieces once again. She had turned me down because apparently I’m not “her type”. She doesn’t understand that I will worship the ground she walks on, and give her the world and more. Her type must be abusers and cheaters then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 077

Yapping

By Mud - 27/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife yet again started nagging me about a project I've been working on. With every single whiny word spewed from her yap, I could feel my excitement diminish, until it was replaced entirely with resentment and a craving for beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 278

The accident

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 15:00

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 988

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, the cops had to be called while my boyfriend and I were hanging out with some friends of ours. It all started when one of them said that he would kill himself if I didn't "just end your fucking relationship already, and date me instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 93

Keeper

By Janice - 27/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 137

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 146

Only skin deep

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I've been married for 17 years. I struggle with OCD and there are some things I can't get past mentally. One is tattoos. I have no sex drive toward women with tattoos. Friends only if they have tattoos. My wife knows this issue. My wife got her first 4 tattoos in February. Why?? Sex drive gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 372

Indeed…

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 05:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 623

Magic moments

By youmakemesick - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me, then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 014

You deserved it 2 833

Funny story…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 873

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, the woman I’ve loved, cared for, and nursed through cancer, left me for her ex since he wants to get married and I don’t. I didn’t know that a piece of paper and a white dress mean more than unconditional love and support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 540

Wipe out

By Rick - 24/05/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 99

Superficial

By Marisela - 24/05/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'd been involved in an accident that severely hurt my right leg. As a result, I couldn't work out and gained 35 pounds, also due to stress eating and some meds I’m taking. Apparently I’m no longer attractive and he can’t have people thinking he’s a “chubby chaser.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 151

What happens in work…

By Martyb - 24/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend works at my husband’s job. He calls her his “work wife.” I had no idea they worked together, nor the fact that he calls her that. I used her phone to call my husband and she has him as “Work Hubby” with a heart emoji. The worst part? They insist nothing is going on between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 153

Loving

By HeatherFeather - 23/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I was seeing told me it wasn’t gonna work out and that he wished me the best. Apparently I acted “too desperate” for his liking. Gee, I’m sorry, but I guess showing basic decency like buying you a birthday present, buying you lunch everyday, and allowing you to use my Netflix, AKA being loving, is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 562

The tree of life

By Snowy - 23/05/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Wildervank

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 405

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 425

Chilled

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was on a video call with my crush from work. Trying to look totally chill, I leaned back in my chair. The back of chair gave way, so I fell out of frame, and the only thing he saw before I disconnected was my foot in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 196

Trust

By Anonymous - 22/05/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that her ex cheated on her when they were together, so she pegged all men the same, saying she was done with relationships, and didn't care if she hurt me or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 87

Keywords

Love Coworkers AITA Lonely Christmas Miscellaneous Relatable Money Health Kids Roommate Sex Intimacy You're fired Work Computers Anger issues Mental health Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting? Geek Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Facebook Embarrassing Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 110

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 5 241

The Top

Today, I've been receiving a lot of calls from my telephone company, offering combo packages with internet, Netflix, Disney+ and whatever the fuck. We had previously resigned from their services, because the company never had the intention of fixing an outage that was caused BY THE SAME COMPANY. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 79

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 296

You deserved it 106 787

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 741

You deserved it 120 477

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 639

You deserved it 9 528

Today, at work, I found out that they are taking all bonus pay away, but giving us an extra $1 an hour due to Covid-19. Last week, they laid off half my department. Those people laid off are making more money on unemployment than I am now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 141

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622