Love

Am I really the asshole here?

By What did she expect? - 07/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 118

Let down

By colts609380 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 283

You deserved it 3 247

What's going on here?

By Alybb33 - 05/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone and saw texts between him and his female friend. I confronted him about it and smashed his phone to pieces. He seems genuinely more upset that he can’t talk to her anymore rather than me being mad at him or his expensive smartphone being broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 1 234

Sigma grindset

By TrueStory - 05/04/2024 23:00 - Pakistan

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, just because he found out I scam people for money on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 2 129

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 169

Love is love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 10:00 - Sierra Leone

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 164

Am I a good person?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I have found that I have feelings for my best friend's wife. She is beautiful, caring, and downright a good wife. She does have issues, like mental issues, but she talks to me and she comes to me for comfort. I have thought it would be nice to just hold her hand even. Am I a jerk or not? I want her bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 936

Nice timing

By heartbroken - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntington

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 223

You deserved it 6 223

Memory loss

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend, and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our "great relationship" for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 598

You deserved it 4 150

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 770

You deserved it 4 913

Not that there's anything wrong with that

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 448

You deserved it 4 635

One Day…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Gosford

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 729

You deserved it 7 219

Weasley little liar dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Paris

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 031

You deserved it 2 691

To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 220

You deserved it 6 040

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 861

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 568

You deserved it 7 736

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 207

One of the guys

By Sabrinna - 14/03/2024 11:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl that my boyfriend considers “one of the guys” isn’t really one of the guys after all. I trusted him to let her stay at his house overnight on several occasions, and to spend alone time with her. She’s pregnant, and the baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 323

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

By ReginaW - 14/03/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my husband sat me down to tell me he’s filing for divorce as he’s fallen out of love with me and loves my 19 year-old daughter (his step-daughter). Furthermore, I’m off the lease when it expires next month so they can live together. We have a 2 month-old son. He replied, “OK, and? I’ll pay child support.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 112

What a man

By Angela - 13/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband thinks I’m using my period to “deprive” him of sex. I have PCOS, which causes me to have irregular periods. I sometimes get them for a couple of days randomly after my regular cycle. He told me if I don’t “stop making shit up” he’s gonna “be forced to satisfy his needs elsewhere.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 159

My precious

By machismo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 482

You deserved it 45 905

Crossroads

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my husband of nearly a decade told me he's been sleeping with his best friend for a year, and also a couple times with my best friend. Marriage destroyed. Life in shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 94

Bitter

By jon - 11/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who disliked the music I listened to and made, is now dating some womanizing party promoter who promotes music of the same genre of music I make. Now she’s all about it, including rocking the image. Who knew ghosting cheaters wanted everything about you, except for you… FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 131

And they say romance is dead…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 442

You deserved it 2 941

Overreacting a tad

By I want out - 11/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my parents grounded me and told me I can forget about going to prom, Grad Bash, and getting a new car for graduation. My mom was cleaning my room and found a pack of condoms in my dresser drawer. Oh, and they made me call my boyfriend they didn’t know about to tell him it was over, on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 312

Murder scene

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, I saw two crows in a park using their beaks to kiss each other. A fucking crow gets more action than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 337

Starcrossed

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 12:00 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Velika Kladuša

Today, I told him that I love him. He said the same to me. I do, with all of my heart and every bone in my body, but we would have to leave every bit of our lives to be together. Families who are on different sides of the gun. A history of hate among two nations. It's too much to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 170

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 751

Foreshadowing is a literary device…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 23:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 782

Call the cops

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my fiancé bought my engagement ring with money he earned by selling my nudes to online perverts. I don’t even know how or when he took those photos, I’ve never ever allowed him to take photos of me naked. It’s disgusting FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 136

Keywords

Christmas Holidays Family Toxic AITA Love Coworkers Furniture Miscellaneous Parents Intimacy Sex Lonely Relatable Health Money Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 016

You deserved it 5 277

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, my boyfriend’s parents saw me making out with my other boyfriend. They’re now asking me to pay them 300€, or they’ll tell him I’m cheating. They know I’m broke and that if we break up I’ll be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I went on a blind date. It turned out that the person who I was set up with was my ex's sibling. We spent the whole evening talking about how terrible my ex is. I'm still single, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 138

Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 850

You deserved it 46 946

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 205

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 188

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 039