Transportation

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 07:04 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 554

You deserved it 25 240

By Puff301 - 01/01/2016 23:25 - Australia - Tuggerah

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 545

You deserved it 1 586

Puff301 tells us more.

Puff301 18

Sunday 3 January 2016 1:54

Hey guys, OP here. It was an overnight flight so they had the lights off, but I could still see the outline of objects and he definitely moved right before he tripped me. And my eyesight is fine. I just can't believe this got posted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 2 039

Vibe check

By buttfingers - 26/12/2015 17:37 - United States - Houston

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 2 242

By Soninuva - 25/12/2015 03:37 - United States - Mcallen

Today, my family and I were going to my grandparents' for Christmas. As my car was totaled recently, I had to get a ride with them. They left without me in the time it took to put my shoes and socks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 916

You deserved it 1 742

Soninuva tells us more.

Soninuva 41

Saturday 26 December 2015 1:51

OP here. It wasn't a mistake, I was getting ready and they said they were leaving. I told them to wait, and they said they wouldn't, as they were already late. Ordinarily I am very punctual, to the point of being early everywhere. I wasn't that day, because the time had been moved, and nobody told me. Originally it was going to be at 6:00 pm, and they moved it to 3:00 pm. They didn't wake me until 2, and didn't tell me that it had been changed until they were saying to hurry up a few minutes before. I was asleep because in addition to being a substitute, I work at Toys R Us, so even though I'm off for one job, the other is stronger than ever. The days leading up to it I had worked two fifteen hour days, then the night before an eight hour one, where I got out around 1:30 am. My dad came back after 15 minutes, so it ended up working out alright, but I was mad as hell.

By julieriis - 23/12/2015 18:03 - Denmark - Hals

Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 1 779

By natalie_sarantos - 23/12/2015 03:44 - United States - Marshfield

Today, I took a coach bus to travel to New York. Along the way, the bus stopped at Burger King and I went out to buy some food. When I got back, I couldn't find the bus. It left without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 813

You deserved it 3 432

By tryingtostealmyheart - 19/12/2015 07:12

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 170

You deserved it 1 655

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 687

You deserved it 7 225

By Zyopy - 18/12/2015 08:33 - Australia - Hampton

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 992

You deserved it 7 188

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

By InfestedCarOwner - 15/12/2015 02:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that rats have made my car their new home. I haven't even finished paying it off yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 570

You deserved it 2 266

InfestedCarOwner tells us more.

InfestedCarOwner 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:22

Hey Guys, OP here! I'm amazed this got posted, haha. As for my rat situation - Thank you for all the suggestions. I'll definitely try and trap them in the sticky traps. For anyone telling me to clean my car, I work in pizza delivery and my cars actually very clean. I have to clean it on a regular basis, But that doesn't mean it won't smell like food all the time. A little extra backstory, Our neighbors had a rat infestation, too. We're assuming that whichever rats survived decided to make our trash cans their home, and since my car is right next to the trash cans, They got in. Also, For the people saying to use cats - A family member suggested we use our kittens to get them out. Which I'm not going to do.

By pampa31 - 14/12/2015 17:21 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 1 702

By Anonymous - 13/12/2015 12:45

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 499

You deserved it 1 577

By Knaxer - 12/12/2015 17:22 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 6 583

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 05:32 - United States - Alexandria Bay

Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 437

You deserved it 1 400

By crushed - 11/12/2015 00:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother won't let me intern at a prestigious college, working with graduate students and professors, and being paid, because she doesn't want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 5 046

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 00:10 - United States - Persia

Today, a woman who I have spoken to approximately twice in my life, asked me out. I turned her down in the most harmless way I could. Three hours later, I found my car keyed and my windshield wipers gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 315

You deserved it 2 026

Kids these days, eh?

By child - 10/12/2015 02:24 - United States - Avon

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 451

You deserved it 1 560

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

By shaft2112 - 03/12/2015 20:19 - Germany - Emsdetten

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 444

You deserved it 1 452

Finally!

By SadAndAlone - 03/12/2015 16:41 - Sweden - Nacka

Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 665

You deserved it 1 991

Cops don't do jokes

By Nightbird827 - 02/12/2015 14:34

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 132

You deserved it 8 482

Forget me not

By ohgodwhyfml - 28/11/2015 14:32 - United States - Danbury

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 078

You deserved it 3 232

By nozVail - 20/11/2015 23:52 - United States

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 395

You deserved it 3 742

By brokeasscollegelife - 20/11/2015 21:25 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 656

You deserved it 3 458

Shot

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 20:13 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 048

You deserved it 29 719

By cyb3rbyte - 20/11/2015 18:23

Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 1 624

cyb3rbyte tells us more.

cyb3rbyte 20

Sunday 22 November 2015 4:34

I did get it resolved as we have a police officer in the parking lot before and after school. He vouched for me as he saw the guy doing the burnouts through his windshield. Thanks for the comments!

By Koizumiii - 15/11/2015 18:47 - United States - Chantilly

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 770

You deserved it 1 424

Koizumiii tells us more.

Koizumiii 23

Monday 16 November 2015 23:37

I was speechless for a few seconds and just kind of stared at her, then grabbed my hair and pulled it out of her mouth and decided to stand instead. Then I took a shower! I would have said something to her but she was about 80 and from Asia, didn't really know English too well

By Anonymous - 15/11/2015 17:36 - United States - Show Low

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 175

You deserved it 2 276