Work, Sex and Intimacy: All sexed up - FML

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All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 284

You deserved it 48 342

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Same thing different taste

He enjoyed himself way too much

By Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Spicy

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 119

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 132

You deserved it 9 055

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 307

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 135

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 2 616

Bad hair day

By ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 454

You deserved it 3 682

By notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 727

You deserved it 3 547

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 418

You deserved it 298

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 114

Next

Top comments

smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Comments

xlGinIchimarulx 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:51

did u take a shower that morning?? ur gross...

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 October 2010 5:17

About as gross as your spelling.

fmlsoobad 0

Monday 25 October 2010 5:23

oh I'm sorry my fault

joekr 0

Monday 25 October 2010 5:39

not worth an fml..if you're so oblivious that you dont know when some one is jizzing on your freaking hair maybe you should consider a home job..

froglv353 0

Monday 25 October 2010 5:54

149 <3333 there's something about Mary

varkey 7

Monday 25 October 2010 5:55

you're so dumb... and a "*****" too though I rarely use that word I think it's appropriate in this situation take a shower once in a while YDI freak that's disgusting

kekeshayeshaye 4

Monday 25 October 2010 6:15

how'd you find it

kittykat82 3

Monday 25 October 2010 6:26

thats just gross. don't you shower ?

x3herox3 0

Monday 25 October 2010 6:35

Where do u work?

schalk 12

Monday 25 October 2010 6:42

OP you're a dream girl. That's an AWESOME way to start the day (assuming you had a quickie before work)

lilybugie 0

Monday 25 October 2010 6:49

high five 36;)

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The Top

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 533

You deserved it 2 866

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 355

The Top

Today, I had to explain to multiple people that even though I'm white, I have no interest in joining a hate group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 125

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 343

You deserved it 2 979

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 315

You deserved it 4 271

Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 765

You deserved it 5 209

Today, my family picked a place for my birthday dinner. They chose a seafood restaurant. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 999

You deserved it 1 523

Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 150