Work, Sex and Intimacy: All sexed up

All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 278

You deserved it 48 324

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

He enjoyed himself way too much

By Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 118

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 9 053

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 303

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 125

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 2 615

Bad hair day

By ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 446

You deserved it 3 677

By notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 720

You deserved it 3 545

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 297

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 994

You deserved it 2 126

smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Comments

Paula231_fml 0

Monday 25 October 2010 1:37

Cum juice!

holt06 0

Monday 25 October 2010 1:57

So...what's your phone number?

mrm3895 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:17

haha someone got fantom scooby

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 October 2010 5:15

Sure...?

sicpupyz122 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:23

Um..only if you showered reguarly and brushed your hair would you have avoided this situation.

klynhunter 0

Monday 25 October 2010 3:07

yeah, cause she totally said it happens everyday.

gigilvrs6 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:28

Agree with 20

xcarxcrashx 9

Monday 25 October 2010 2:45

YDI, obviously.

KikiThePug 0

Monday 25 October 2010 3:05

He's climbin' in yo' office dorms, and cummin' in yo' hair. ;D

Hockey_Fan12 0

Monday 25 October 2010 19:49

Hide yo' wife

bean_dip21 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:44

I was attacked by some idiot in the projects.

tcj2010 5

Monday 25 October 2010 3:25

gross

Erevis_cale 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:24

wow next time ensure he aims or u swallow

malibubarbie2122 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:48

what kind of job do you have...

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the father of my kids, had been practically begging women to sleep with him throughout the duration of both pregnancies, and has also spent hundreds of dollars on OnlyFans every month. He promised to permanently delete OnlyFans three times and still hasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 583

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 5 958

The Top

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 2 883

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 5 058

Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 147

You deserved it 1 902

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 947

You deserved it 4 198

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 243

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 13 015