Work, Sex and Intimacy: All sexed up - FML

All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 281

You deserved it 48 327

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

He enjoyed himself way too much

By Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Spicy

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 118

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 130

You deserved it 9 053

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 304

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 126

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 656

You deserved it 2 615

Bad hair day

By ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 449

You deserved it 3 678

By notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 723

You deserved it 3 546

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 414

You deserved it 297

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 997

You deserved it 2 126

Next

Top comments

smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Comments

Criminal58369 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:47

Guess girls are using it for everything nowadays!

starile 19

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:04

What the heck is wrong with you? Take a shower before you go to work!

biskitbukit 7

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:14

It probably wasn't cum then.

Avenger_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:34

hey, buddy. it's called a shower. you should try it.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 25 October 2010 2:01

At least look in the mirror before work..

phatdaddy62 23

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:36

South Park Win!

BlueTwist89 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:43

K, this is in the intimacy section, people. It probably happened BEFORE she went to work. @ OP, FYL for finding that out 2 hours in. But..YDI for not checking your hair and clothes before heading off to work. Very careless on your part >.<.

Heypussycat 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 20:45

nice, we should meetup;) I love the kinky ones!

KahraShea 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 21:06

try showering, it works.

newbery12 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 21:29

shower?

klynhunter 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 21:56

happens to the best if us, lol. if you have long hair its impossible to find the goods, more so if your boyfriend decided to nab you with minutes to spare before you had to leave.

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The Top

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 785

You deserved it 5 803

Today, there was a gas leak at work. We called the fire department, who advised us to evacuate the building. We called our manager to let her know, and her response was "Oh, don’t do that." My boss would rather let us die of carbon monoxide exposure than lose out on 3 hours of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 114

The Top

Today, it's the eighth day in the last two weeks that my job has kept me late, while working with broken equipment. It's been longer than that, but I started counting two weeks ago. I've been cussed out because of the broken equipment too. No amount of money is worth not seeing my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 162

Today, I had to attend a telephone hearing with my landlord, regarding debt and other things. I spent two weeks getting my defence ready. I was prepared and had so much against him. He dropped all complaints but the debt. I had proof it should be reduced or reassessed. He still won and I can’t afford the payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 332

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 826

You deserved it 5 473

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 608

You deserved it 4 331

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 271

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 494

You deserved it 3 219