Work, Sex and Intimacy: All sexed up

All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 278

You deserved it 48 324

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Same thing different taste

He enjoyed himself way too much

By Galo - 30/01/2022 19:58

Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 118

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 9 053

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 303

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 125

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 2 615

Bad hair day

By ewwgross - 20/05/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 446

You deserved it 3 677

By notmine - 20/04/2014 02:39 - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 720

You deserved it 3 545

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 297

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 994

You deserved it 2 126

smokeymcpottt 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:14

He tried to get your hair pregnant.

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 16:57

There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.

Comments

mare40 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:06

been there

spatz447 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:12

****?

ilovemunro 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:12

omg grosss ! but how the hell you get cum on your hair from just being at work !? i'm sure there is more to this story ;) jhahah wow..

harmoo_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:17

hey FML mods, moderate this comment like you do all my other ones. I dare you.

DJR_fml 2

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:19

You're gross.

Domonator 16

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:19

After the OP's father walked in on the OP as she was giving head to her bf in the TV room, she went straight to work.

maisell 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:23

bukakke!!!! lol!!!

starberries 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:32

Take a shower before work you nasty *****.

jojobeanz 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:33

damn shower much nasty

kellykerplunkk 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 19:34

what the hell.. ahah

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The Top

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 283

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 226

You deserved it 7 532

The Top

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 273

You deserved it 3 802

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 252

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It involved the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 179

You deserved it 1 110

Today, after I found a mental help app that I actually liked, it referred me to a doctor after only two days of using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 187

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 2 268

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 606

You deserved it 3 758