Love: Are you OK?

Are you OK?

By unicorn - 12/06/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 752

You deserved it 13 280

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 727

You deserved it 3 059

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 5 862

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 2 207

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 04:14 - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 3 679

By unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 12 911

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 171

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 863

Sounds like a keeper

By Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 141

Red flag

By Ugly - 06/03/2022 06:00

Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 344

jorvid 0

Friday 12 June 2009 23:17

First of all unicorns is real, and you should be grateful that the unicorn even thought you were worthy of a compliment, you ****!

24788 6

Friday 12 June 2009 23:16

What's wrong with having imaginary friends that you talk to?

Comments

plexico 3

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:28

What are you complaining about? You could have a threesome with a magical horse!

MukyDaCookie 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:31

Maybe hes a hilarious kid and did that as a joke? I pull things like that too. It's all in fun and he wants in ur pants.

jpgenius123 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:38

has anybody realized that he meant his penis?

JesiJLo 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:45

I had a boyfriend who had a teddy bear puppet that would whisper things to him and he would tell me what the bear said. It didn't last long.

testing_fml 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:48

unicorn = penis

IRemainNameless 12

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:48

Oh. Oh my. Run away, the sooner the better!

girlygirl666 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 2:56

My unicorn ****** your boyfriend AND his unicorn....

tbbays04 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 3:00

And that's when you ditch....

Uber_G33k 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 3:01

Tell your boyfriend that he's being illogical. Unicorns live on MARS, not Earth! Besides, they only speak Yugoslavian, and I'd be impressed if your boyfriend was fluent in Yugoslavian. I mean, If he did have a Earth-Dwelling Unicorn, and could speak to it and understand it, I wouldn't let him escape you. A man with that brain power can get you far in life.