Miscellaneous: Asshats

Asshats

By anon - 21/04/2009 08:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 159

You deserved it 4 934

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Same thing different taste

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 17 298

Kinda brought it onto yourself

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 2 092

By Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 412

You deserved it 5 260

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 752

Simply red

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 758

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 371

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - 25/05/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 006

You deserved it 9 181

Toasted

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 192

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 604

You deserved it 4 324

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:10 - United States - Batesville

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 455

You deserved it 42 602

nato2101 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.

TWlCH 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:12

On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?

Comments

TehLazyBoy 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:15

What happen, happened. Everything happens for a reason.

LunarMage 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:57

Shrink it and you can have a new little red dress instead.

Ellie13579 1

Monday 9 May 2011 21:24

So now you have a $200 red dress

1molinamatt 5

Friday 27 May 2011 22:09

Red dresses are hot! But that sucks :/ fyl

Lennes 12

Friday 10 June 2011 4:47

Dye it all red. But that does suck.

123RPG 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 18:57

Hey look at the bright side could have been pigs blood

cheesepie08 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 15:46

next time don't spend that much money on a dress.

lalieta29 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 5:52

:O that sucks!

Horned_Frog_82 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:59

Red Dye: 1 White Dress: 0

Friaza 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 1:05

Capture the culprits and make them drink the red dye! (No really, don't.)

maddy23a 5

Sunday 21 August 2011 2:59

Umm , red dress ? Jk , but really , fyl

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 210

You deserved it 4 811

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 384

The Top

Today, it's the third time my ex has been granted a reduction in his child support payments coinciding with his gold digger getting an expensive gift. The first time it was her 4-carat engagement ring, then it was her breast and butt surgeries, and now a 3-week trip to Hawaii. I can barely afford food for our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 191

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 758

You deserved it 1 090

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 3 123

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 1 600

Today, I finally decided to try to get a date with the girl I like at work. While I was looking for her around the office, her supervisor approached me. She's in the hospital due to Covid-19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 133

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 526

You deserved it 2 995