Miscellaneous: Asshats

Asshats

By anon - 21/04/2009 08:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 159

You deserved it 4 934

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Same thing different taste

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 17 298

Kinda brought it onto yourself

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 2 092

By Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 412

You deserved it 5 260

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 752

Simply red

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 758

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 371

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - 25/05/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 006

You deserved it 9 181

Toasted

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 192

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 604

You deserved it 4 324

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:10 - United States - Batesville

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 455

You deserved it 42 602

nato2101 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.

TWlCH 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:12

On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?

Comments

HellHound_fml 0

Friday 29 January 2010 19:42

now it's a $200 red dress!

brandothemando 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 0:52

hope you like pink. 0_o

ray704 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:10

well, now atleast you have a red dress

JamesM9794 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:19

so dye it the rest of the way red, take lemons, make lemonade

My2864 1

Friday 11 June 2010 1:00

make em pay for your damn dress dumbass

TrueRaiderFan22 0

Friday 18 June 2010 15:49

beat the guck out of them

angel0811 0

Monday 26 July 2010 2:10

okay @#48 why does anyone get on FML except to bitch about stuff thats why its called "**** my life" and yeah this definitely blows

BBWeez 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 7:51

There always a time when u can get then back

bobthecactus 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 15:15

bleach!

bobthecactus 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 23:49

use bleach!

Keywords

Food Work Birds Mental health Public freakouts Jealousy Love Awkward Miscellaneous Fire Relatable Cooking Coworkers Cute Neighbours Grandparents Kids Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing

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I agree, your life sucks 1 190

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Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 7 262

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 5 345

Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 134

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 60 084

Today, I spent several hours sitting in the ER hyperventilating from pain and passing out, due to a herniated disc in my back. I had to watch at least 5 people go ahead of me, whose only complaints was that their stomach hurt or they felt nauseous. One of these people had a bag of snacks with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 166