Intimacy: Automaton - FML

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 9 558

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 5 614

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 5 766

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 790

You deserved it 5 730

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 932

You deserved it 12 632

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 311

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Spicy

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 508

You deserved it 10 414

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 116

You deserved it 12 074

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 278

You deserved it 876

Next

Top comments

Psychotic_Snail 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 19:38

hahaha hes a keeper

dragsdotasniper 2

Saturday 25 December 2010 19:37

funny bf

Comments

poison_girl 1

Saturday 25 December 2010 23:04

lmao I think if that happened to me I couldn't even be mad I would be laughing so hard lol

cupcake112397 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 23:17

lmao thts funny

ohcanaduh 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 23:26

mechanical intercourse

Foxy_On_Fire 21

Saturday 25 December 2010 23:47

did it feel good? cuz now I'm horny after thinking about it.

Nadinek98 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 23:49

sexy.;) Ur the commander and he's the rocket

SashaDren1 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 0:03

FHisLife for having to put up with an uptight prude.

Premium_fml 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 0:21

Damn.

dt520 4

Sunday 26 December 2010 0:36

i bet if you shoved a finger up his ass he would shut the **** up

emilybaby2012 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 0:46

13- you're cutee. haha but yeah, I agree with you:)

crazycrackah101 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 1:00

I second that (;

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Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 125

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 10 698

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 035

You deserved it 3 372

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 1 306

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 790

You deserved it 5 730

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 103

You deserved it 1 857

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 320

You deserved it 268 862