Awkward pause

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Springs

Spicy
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 481
You deserved it 17 907

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Comments

And he knows a thing or two about the jerk.

Where?? Maybe you meant to say cum or oh nut! No? Eh, I tried now go ahead and bury me alive! Lol

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Neyuu 18

We could say the same about you.

Haha, such a nonchalant response - "Okay"

all of you need to stop being so aggressive and picking fights over everything. this community is psychotic sometimes.

But don't worry, you can do plenty of things that she can only try to imitate.

pvtmeives 4

He's cheating on Jill? That bastard

That's her name? I was wondering who the original girlfriend was ;). What's the name of his back-up girlfriend?

BradTheBrony 19

uh Uh UH UM OH GOD MY TURN TO SHINE HERE WE GO NOW I'M GONNA BE GREAT PENIS ****

Yeah it's Jill, just hold out your right hand, the thumb and index finger make the "J," the middle finger is an "I" and the ring and pinky are the "L"s.

mkid232 15

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sugarshane007 20

Nah, couldn't be that. He's some kind of phobic person that only uses self care products on one side of his body.

Don't worry, I felt your sarcasm and appreciated it. Sometimes you gotta wear those down rates as a badge of honor.

sugarshane007 20

30,this is FML. We have high demands of people using sarcasm here. This one just fell a bit under that bar, even if it truly was sarcasm.

BlitzPKF 10
sugarshane007 20
BradTheBrony 19

Sarcasm? What's that taste like?

It seemed like he was being sarcastic. If not, no shit Sherlock.

mkid232 15

How in the world was that too subtle? I guess my mind's eye and everyone else's differs, but good lord I didn't expect to get so many negatives...

upallnight11 19
TheElBurrrito 21

He likes to be referred to as a Palm jockey.

oj101 33

OP, you have a golden opportunity. You can easily become girlfriend to the guy you like seeing as he's obviously single and horny.

He could be horny, but his gf doesn't wanna put out!

Somehow I find 6's comment rather sexistic towards men. It's a little strange to link masturbation to 1) being single and 2) desperately needing a relationship. You can be single, horny and yet keep some proper standards towards relationships.

DjeePee you're the first female I have seen who has actually defended a male stating they actually do want a deeper connection with a female other than sex. I salute you mam.

I agree with 36. However, I dated a guy once who only thrived on masturbation, relationship or not. He said he could never depend on girls to fulfill his needs yet he had just got out of a 13 year relationship/marriage. When I would ask about why he liked masturbation so much better, he said it was to record his "memories." I dodged a bullet with that one!

Even guys in committed relationships **********. That he wanks a lot doesn't mean he's desperate, although it may mean he's horny. Or it just means he's human.

sugarshane007 20

Hey, this is something he should be proud of. He is not afraid to take the hands on approach to life!

Ooh, I see what you did there. :p and it deserved more thumbs ups than it got.

Soooooo I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Rosie. Oh and did I mention she had 5 sisters!?? Doh! And I agree with #6

I thought her name was Palmela Handerson?

Can someone explain miss Michigan without getting moderated? I tried google and got nothing...

look at a map, its roughly shaped like a mitted* hand

*four* daughters. unless you have six fingers on one hand; if that is the case, feel free to ignore this comment.

At least he's good at playing the one-hand-fiddle.