Awkward pause

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Springs

Spicy
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 481
You deserved it 17 907
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Crazynopantsman 11

Which could be a good thing depending on perspective. You could do the jerking for him!

2 1
Crazynopantsman 11

This was supposed to be a reply to #1, but I have no idea how to delete it.

1 1
perdix 29

He could have played it off that he was a left-handed tennis/racquetball/squash player. Of course, explaining why he got "tennis elbow" in his right arm would get that much more difficult.

58 7
little_one 20

Or he could lotion up both hands? Dual softness and you get a "stranger" for a couple nights.

20 1
AninOnin 24

I was going to suggest (and this goes to the rest of you guys, if you ever get into this situation in the future) that he say "Yeah, I'm in archery. I draw with my left hand, so it's a lot rougher than my right."

2 0
amifaiyaz 12

we've all said stupid things to our crushes, but that is seriously one the most cases of foot in mouth I've ever read.

50 6
123man 11

Foot in mouth? You mean dick in hand, I think. Or we could mix around the two options up and really have some fun!

56 3
teh_doctor 4

Hand in foot! Hand in foot!

61 1
SirEskimo 13

Ikr, if only there was a favorite button or something similar xD!!

25 2
andyyroxx 20

Lol! #yolo swag dgaf! Omg guise lmao! There is a favorite button. Or your sarcasm was from the ńth dimension and I couldn't register it.

19 5
JaneChemi_fml 21

25- go share this on fb then you can like it all you want

10 1
sirpantselot 22

No, even then he can only like it once.

7 0
PipingMouse 14

Maybe he did use lotion when he was rubbing his...Wait what?

4 32
HeartOfLead 24

This was established... multiple times.

7 1
bjdog98 9

Looks like you met his other girlfriend, Jill.

8 4
capodanno 4

I remember back in the day, someone said Jill was their gf. It took me months to figure out what that meant. And even then, only because another guy spelled it out for me. By holding up his hand and showing me the letters. Now it's my go to male masturbation reference.

1 0
Me1977 8

It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again...

21 1
Me1977 8

Have the lambs stopped screaming?

1 0
DocBastard 38

You missed a golden opportunity. Instead of sitting there in stunned, awkward silence, you should have leaned in close, stroked his hand with yours, and whispered seductively, "But maybe now you won't need that lotion anymore..."

75 7
sugarshane007 20

Another missed opportunity on FML.

16 3
BellaBelle_fml 23

Doc, as your previous comments have suggested, you are not only a skilled and confident physician, a master in the art of sarcasm and puns, a wonderful father to your rather blessed children, a very faithful husband, and now you are revealing that you are a hopeless romantic and rather good at being seductive. Is there anything that you aren't good at? Other than stupidity, of course. You're wife, children, family, friends, and patients are all very blessed to have someone like you in their lives. I didn't think it was possible for me to admire you any more than I already did. We need more people like you in the world.

8 14
RebornUnicorn 16

I think its time for him to start "moisturizing" both hands so then it won't be so obvious

12 0