Intimacy: Bad game

Bad game

By Dick the Greater - 25/10/2013 22:08

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 406

You deserved it 10 367

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 206

You deserved it 4 704

Tense dinner

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 273

You deserved it 3 577

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 2 101

By shocked - 12/10/2009 14:52 - United States

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 696

You deserved it 5 698

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 700

You deserved it 1 729

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 945

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 563

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 5 450

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 150

You deserved it 16 379

By cdestarac - 10/01/2012 06:07 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 159

You deserved it 37 775

oj101 33

Saturday 26 October 2013 5:36

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

yoimtrollin 24

Saturday 26 October 2013 5:34

Good things come in tiny packages, she doesn't know what she's missing.

Comments

pinchepriscyla 9

Saturday 26 October 2013 11:42

Lmao what did your mom say?

grunt_fml 17

Saturday 26 October 2013 11:45

Get drunk at the next family meeting, start to cry and complain that you simply can´t satisfy your girlfriend, because she is so wide and worn, it feels like throwing a sausage into a sports hall.

DenBriZel 31

Saturday 26 October 2013 12:15

I agree maybe you should try harder? If a guy tries hard enough I'm sure they can do it.

hopeless511 3

Saturday 26 October 2013 12:44

Dude, that's the worst.

ulissey_fml 22

Saturday 26 October 2013 12:52

I'm curious to know what is going to come out of the SECOND get-together ?? If she makes it.

canialopez 3

Saturday 26 October 2013 13:39

Woah... Well first of all, let me tell you that size really doesn't matter. But don't put up with her saying that stuff to your MOM! Dump her ass.

take_lite 3

Saturday 26 October 2013 15:18

68 - size does matter and how one wields it matter too.Small size can work okay if wielded properly.

canialopez 3

Saturday 26 October 2013 20:42

73, I didn't realise you were a women. Like I said, size DOESN'T matter. It's all about technique.

caden_bro 9

Sunday 27 October 2013 1:22

Studies show it only takes 3 and a half inches to please a woman.

udolipixie 2

Saturday 16 November 2013 23:37

A link to those studies? I've never seen any study stating such in fact the ****** gap and the 30% chance of female ****** would show that it takes much more than 3/5'' of d*ck to please a gal. It seems you may be misunderstanding the studies stating the location of the g-spot and the g-spot being 3.5'' doesn't mean that's all it takes to please a gal when it comes to d*ck size since unlike the finger the d*ck is not as flexible to crook and bend to hit the g-spot. Size matters for both genders with big vaginas guys get a lose of sensation and with small d*cks gals get a lose of penetration sense, the rebounding effect of the d*ck on her vaginal walls, and the hot spots length can reach.