Miscellaneous: Badass

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 702

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Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 354

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 665

You deserved it 47 760

By Dear Lord Save Me - 04/01/2015 03:56 - United Kingdom - Merthyr Tydfil

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 3 306

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 804

You deserved it 826

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 341

By Anonymous - 16/02/2013 00:39 - Italy - Milan

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 811

You deserved it 3 779

Sorry Pat

By Kronic - 02/07/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 312

You deserved it 48 657

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 22:00

Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 262

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 955

You deserved it 71 788

The Protector

By fuck - 14/08/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 861

You deserved it 15 810

sorcerersinger 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 9:14

I would expect that from a father. usually moms want their daughters to get married and whatnot.

Apple_Scented 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 9:13

Wow that's a scary mom xD gl to your future bf

Comments

OMGitsCOUREY 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 16:27

that's toooooooooo funny! not that you desrve it, but it's just funny. fyl I guess

Anteezy 7

Wednesday 17 February 2010 16:33

You wouldn't want to date him anyway, what kind of guy gets scared when some soccermom threatens him, regardless if she is holding a bat or not.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 17 February 2010 16:47

Depends on the situation. If you are underage and the "cute guy" was 35 and flirting with you, your mom had every right to chase that nasty pedo away. If he was around your age, then how embarassing for you!

aeiouxuoiea 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 17:08

meeting new people in new places doesn't seem trashy at all...

PandasRtheShit 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 17:35

Snickerdoodles.. the Boxxy of FML..

xSCALEYMANFISHx 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 17:36

trashy? how is that trashy? most people hit on people in situations like that so they can get to know eachother.

ayjayyuk 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 17:44

crazy bitch

israelnotjacob 20

Wednesday 17 February 2010 18:32

This FML is yet another that really depends on the circumstance. If the poster is only like 13 years old then her mom is awesome. If she's like 21 then yes her life does suck.