Health: Better run

FML for mobile
Free

Better run

By bob the builder - 08/11/2012 14:36 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 408

You deserved it 1 737

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 032

You deserved it 5 408

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 113

By wtf_fml_0609 - 01/11/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 577

You deserved it 26 111

By prettybich - 15/05/2010 18:01 - United States

Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 226

You deserved it 36 439

Hang in there

By bs_happens - 11/01/2010 15:28 - United States

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9-hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 902

You deserved it 11 372

Animal

By Anonymous - 22/05/2017 12:00

Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 769

You deserved it 4 700

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 7 424

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 398

By littleman - 06/04/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 2 986

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 680

You deserved it 378

PleaseStayChill 9

Thursday 8 November 2012 18:47

Go off of the building. I'm sure everyone on the ground would enjoy that.

Schizomaniac 24

Thursday 8 November 2012 18:51

How is it convenient if y- Oh. Well damn. Guess you have two cases of the runs then.

Comments

jayhawkchik 4

Friday 9 November 2012 2:35

Just hang it off the side.as long as you yell a warning, you're good.

Denomic 9

Friday 9 November 2012 2:40

It has just occurred to me that your username is "bob the builder" and your FML is about construction. This could only mean one thing. Inception.

samasara 20

Friday 9 November 2012 4:01

Shit happens bro.

2146MarineCorps 1

Friday 9 November 2012 4:33

Rappel

thepooburgler 2

Friday 9 November 2012 4:36

Someone had a shitty day.

greeneye_fml 12

Friday 9 November 2012 4:43

Maybe invest in Depends?

SpearD 4

Friday 9 November 2012 4:57

One time when I was 13, I got the runs at night, so I had to get out of my bed and cross through my parents room and back about 10 times. Not fun

AtomicRebirth 11

Friday 9 November 2012 5:46

Probably shouldn't be going to work if you're sick.

SeeNote 1

Friday 9 November 2012 7:42

Just take a dump off the 12th floor. Got to do what you got to do.

StanSmith2013 26

Friday 9 November 2012 9:03

Be greatful it isn't any higher!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Love School Crush Confused Mental health Friends Sex Intimacy My ex DIY I need your advice Awkward Education Break-ups Miscellaneous Delivery Annoying Insulting Scary Parenting Kids Clothes Racism Work Animals Frustration Cats Cute Alcohol

The Top

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 142

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 056

You deserved it 1 407

The Top

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 383

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 123

You deserved it 32 432

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 829

You deserved it 3 696

Today, like every month, I'm able to tell when my period is going to come, down to the exact day. It becomes increasingly smelly, even before I've started, to the point where everyone around me can barely stand it. I can't do anything to get rid of the stench before it's actually started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 119

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 209

You deserved it 8 269

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 805

You deserved it 2 091