Intimacy: Biology major

Biology major

By LilPie - 19/11/2015 22:10 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 141

You deserved it 2 315

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Same thing different taste

Sex ed has failed entire generations

By Thatslife - 26/03/2011 19:29 - Netherlands

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 7 867

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 530

You deserved it 14 750

Sex ed failed a generation

By Anonymous - 16/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 224

By SadMother - 04/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 889

You deserved it 11 947

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 700

You deserved it 9 370

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 964

You deserved it 631

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 600

You deserved it 4 451

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 207

You deserved it 5 850

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 18:12 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 770

You deserved it 6 548

By butnotlikethat - 16/03/2013 00:05 - China - Nanchang

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 977

You deserved it 6 229

takeittoem 8

Friday 20 November 2015 9:55

And this is why it's important to pay attention in high school...

erptwerp 26

Friday 20 November 2015 9:55

It will all just blow over in the end, I'm sure.

Comments

Matteo_G 16

Thursday 26 November 2015 13:25

you could've pointed out that you don't necessarely have to swallow, even if you are dumb enough to think that'd make you pregnant

MrJenksMan 1

Saturday 28 November 2015 18:19

That's how Jesus was conceived...

anrsoul16 9

Tuesday 1 December 2015 7:31

Although very rare, there have been studied to show that it can occur.

KingAdrock 16

Saturday 26 December 2015 1:50

No, that is unequivocally false. Getting pregnant from swallowing sperm is not rare, it is outright impossible. The gastrointestinal and reproductive systems are not just different, they're completely separate with no connection between the two.