Poopoo peepee, Babies and Kids: Blasted

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 046

You deserved it 2 968

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 077

You deserved it 6 688

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 160

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 206

By owwthatfarts - 27/01/2017 11:53 - United States - Worcester

Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 036

You deserved it 533

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 180

You deserved it 7 691

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 558

You deserved it 1 618

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

HotFrosty 14

Wednesday 25 November 2015 15:42

If he finds it so funny, he can change the diapers from now on.

InnocenceBlue 37

Wednesday 25 November 2015 15:38

The joys of parenthood. There's more to come OP, but congrats on the bub :)

Comments

lonewolf91 2

Friday 27 November 2015 21:38

I got a good one for you had both my daughter's throw up in my mouth before that really sucks

xmummanicx 4

Sunday 29 November 2015 18:24

I know this way too well and my daughter is 1 hahaha

Username322Xx 4

Monday 30 November 2015 2:12

Looks like he can change the diapers from now on if he finds it so funny:)

Jayyatlast7 4

Monday 30 November 2015 5:13

Its all giggles and shit, until someone ***** then giggles lol

tiredofwaiting 25

Monday 30 November 2015 6:08

Lol this is why I have no children.

Ordu 7

Tuesday 1 December 2015 1:08

haha that's so cute by the baby

nealius 6

Tuesday 1 December 2015 3:13

my daughter did that to her mother 14 years ago. It still cracks me up! best memory ever!

Brittanyashlyn 5

Saturday 5 December 2015 9:26

how does that even happen loll unless your face was about level with Her butt

baubsmith 6

Sunday 6 December 2015 8:32

next time, hold the front of the diaper down, and use it to wipe front to back, getting most of it off before you raise her but and proceed to wipe all that crap into her front. basic diaper changing 101.