Transportation, Cars and Relatable: Brain fart - FML

Brain fart

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 844

You deserved it 61 080

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unaware - 19/09/2012 04:14 - United States - Columbus

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 018

You deserved it 35 277

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 837

You deserved it 42 167

By mrs14 - 11/09/2012 02:04 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 471

You deserved it 31 214

By PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! - 08/06/2012 21:30 - Mexico

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 469

You deserved it 5 064

This ol' truck

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 23:49 - United States

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door, and the keys were in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 140

You deserved it 38 634

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:51

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 838

You deserved it 36 780

By nerderer - 30/04/2015 18:48 - United States - Duluth

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 852

You deserved it 6 842

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 1 202

By anonymous - 27/11/2014 03:33 - United States - Butler

Today, I thought I'd lost the ring that my boyfriend had given me, in the snow, in the dark. I spent a half hour with a flashlight searching every part of my driveway. The ring was on my kitchen windowsill the whole time. I took it off earlier to do dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 7 743

Next

Top comments

sambino2012 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:27

been there done that.. lol

Susieee_Q 9

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:27

We all have our moments.

Comments

morgaanntomas 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:25

haha yesterday I was watching a video on mine then started freaking out when I didn't feel it on my pocket..

fffmmmffflll 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:28

dumbshit.

tyty_kaytee 5

Friday 10 June 2011 1:31

that's so funny lol .

123456789joey 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:31

fail

justanotherrando_fml 2

Friday 10 June 2011 1:35

At least you weren't looking for a flashlight with your phone to find your phone… lmao

123_omg 19

Friday 10 June 2011 1:36

Funny! I was talking to my mom on my cellphone once and freaked out cuz I couldn't find it. She finally said "well, how did you manage to call me then?"...lol

winterale29 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:40

to be honest I have done that way to many times!

dantheman31297 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:44

haha ur a retard

udontknome 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:53

I agree with 17. Actually, both have hapoened to me at the same timrle

silverstar210 0

Friday 10 June 2011 1:58

don't worry, happens 2 everyone all the time :) lol

4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 170

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 27 470

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 229

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about allegedly texting another girl behind my back and exchanging nudes. I asked him, “If I were to look through your phone right now, would we still be together in the next 5 minutes?” He responded by smashing his phone to the ground and stomping it to smithereens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 455

You deserved it 252

Today, while on a road trip, we stopped at a convenience store and I did not feel the need to pee at all. Ten minutes later, back on the road, my teeth were floating. I’m in my twenties and thought only little kids and the elderly had this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 625

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 6 128