Intimacy: Bump in the road - FML

Bump in the road

By misshb - 18/01/2010 01:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard, as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line, "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 262

You deserved it 22 854

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

A change is as good as rest

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 10:00 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 205

Caught

By Anonanon - 12/07/2011 17:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 928

You deserved it 13 845

By Alissa - 29/06/2010 04:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 843

You deserved it 6 920

By thesporkhop - 25/01/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 102

You deserved it 4 109

Make your mind up

By rollercoaster - 25/10/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 523

You deserved it 4 709

Unstable

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 17:00

Today, after three months of hooking up and talking about dating, the man I was supporting emotionally went back to his ex, who'd reduced the restraining order on him to a no abuse order so they could be together. He left me in his bed to go be with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 593

By Bigfatfailure - 28/03/2013 10:02 - United States - Garden Grove

Spicy

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 531

You deserved it 9 868

Crushed

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Spicy

Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 226

By SariLone - 19/05/2013 18:02 - India - Mumbai

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 001

You deserved it 8 680

Thank God

By Dwarvahkiin - 08/08/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 168

Next

Top comments

jazlyn1986 0

Monday 18 January 2010 9:30

why would u fall for it again?

Nic_hole 0

Monday 18 January 2010 9:32

ahhh dude :/ he's a prick! you seriously don't deserve to be treated like that, well actually, NOBODY Should be treated like that..

Comments

scorpio_minx 1

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:23

Cup check with some sharp rings... he'll NEVER forget you!

jheinz33 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 23:40

Wow what an ass.

ashleyylove3 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 17:15

You have to be stronger than that!

worldclassrager 39

Friday 18 April 2014 21:15

Oh wow...I can understand that happening but his comment was totally not needed

ErinShannon 27

Friday 26 May 2017 9:45

You should of kicked him in the dick.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Work Break-ups Love Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Engagement School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Cats Cooking Food Messy Miscellaneous Weddings Dance Embarrassing Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 487

You deserved it 9 169

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 579

You deserved it 6 808

The Top

Today, I tried to quit my job of almost 6 years so I can date the man of my dreams, one of my bosses. When I gave my 3 weeks notice so they can try to replace me, they refused to accept it. My potential boyfriend won't see me anymore until I quit and can't tell my other managers why I need to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 1 323

Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 102

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 6 737

Today, I went out wearing the highest heels I had, but was nervous about falling because I'm such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 534

You deserved it 6 073

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 316

You deserved it 8 216

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 194

You deserved it 7 805