Intimacy: Captain Jack

Captain Jack

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 403

You deserved it 43 608

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 421

You deserved it 6 868

By anonymous - 03/06/2013 04:41 - United States - Banner Elk

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 959

You deserved it 18 300

Tiger King

By ??? - 12/10/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 730

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 984

You deserved it 6 188

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 4 750

Try it, you never know…

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 10:34 - United States - Sanford

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 337

You deserved it 7 061

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 22:08 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 17 813

alstbv12 13

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:06

I guess he wanted to try the one-eyed pirate with you.

alissa222 15

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:09

At least he tried?

Comments

TBelle4Ever 15

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:44

I guess he wants to be Jack "Swallows"

TBizzle15 1

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:48

Hey! I gotta give him props for trying! Go husband!!

buttercup1998 5

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:51

Awkward!?

My_Nightmare 19

Sunday 12 August 2012 6:06

What's awkward is the profile picture you have considering it says you're only 14. Tad inappropriate

emily883 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:52

You're 14 and have a 1 year old son?

bloodangel494 1

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:57

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! nice lol

Eirena 5

Sunday 12 August 2012 6:00

So what? Kudos to him for trying. Now you can tell him he's doing it wrong and steer him towards something that rocks your boat.

missababgaga 19

Sunday 12 August 2012 6:03

At least he's trying :) besides, beggars can't be choosers OP

gracehi 31

Sunday 12 August 2012 6:05

^I agree that it's not ideal to have a one year old child at the age of 14 (or sex at the age of 12 or 13) but it's not your place to judge. You have no idea the circumstances surrounding his child's conception, and for all you know he may be a very loving and devoted father.