Sex, Relatable, Awkward and Wanker: Classic Dave

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Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 408

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 239

You deserved it 4 511

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 944

You deserved it 3 096

By anon - 23/03/2011 04:56

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 736

You deserved it 3 934

What a wanker

By no action Jackson - 27/09/2020 20:02 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 337

You deserved it 4 005

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 776

You deserved it 5 876

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 641

You deserved it 4 374

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 772

You deserved it 885

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 507

You deserved it 11 072

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 958

You deserved it 5 423

pjsr 32

Wednesday 29 April 2020 9:01

The garbage disposal does a good job of destroying all evidence

spinspinsugar 12

Wednesday 29 April 2020 22:00

hi, op's husband 👋

Comments

sickerthanyou 13

Thursday 30 April 2020 1:50

Well, tell him you are open to do him in the kitchen!, he clearly has a kitchen fantasy

slowhandjp 16

Thursday 30 April 2020 4:30

He has the same taste as me.

Dukenorton 10

Thursday 30 April 2020 16:09

This is more hilarious than anything. Sounds like you married an innovator

BoulderDashTank19141 6

Wednesday 6 May 2020 4:32

WOW

brenniman 10

Monday 29 June 2020 2:28

And you didn't offer to finish him off to a happy ending? So don't be so hard on him, most guys like to occasionally rub one out on their own.

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Scams Relatable Clothes Money Food Weddings Family Love Housework Dogs Divorce AITA Kids Awkward Health Poopoo peepee Alcohol Ironic Work Public freakouts Fight Parenting Intimacy Weird Sex Smells Relationship advice Friends

The Top

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, I was skinny dipping with some cute girls from school, one of which I really like. Everything was great until I caught a fish on my own personal nightcrawler and they had to take me to the ER. I'll forever be known as "Salmon Dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 488

You deserved it 724

The Top

Today, after three months of going back and forth between staying with my boyfriend and leaving him for someone else, I finally made the decision to go for the other guy. When I told him, he admitted to never seeing himself with me, as he "doesn't do cheaters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 2 576

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 124

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 2 997

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 1 212

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 344

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 364

Classic Dave

Same thing different taste

What a wanker

Holes

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