Porn and Intimacy: Collector's items - FML

Collector's items

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 55 686

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Same thing different taste

By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 60 357

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 215

You deserved it 39 614

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 923

You deserved it 2 072

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 5 645

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 693

You deserved it 50 427

By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 346

You deserved it 68 808

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 791

You deserved it 32 364

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 280

You deserved it 15 388

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 431

You deserved it 5 238

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 733

You deserved it 45 209

Next

Top comments

browntiga 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:16

that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 22 April 2011 0:21

All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr

Comments

Leethal88 3

Friday 22 April 2011 0:28

rofl

danielhartlesss 13

Friday 22 April 2011 0:29

YDI for staying home and beating your meat instead of going out and getting a girlfriend.

klong91 7

Friday 22 April 2011 0:37

Pervert :P

notquite69 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:38

Loser.

zzzBOLTzzz 1

Friday 22 April 2011 0:40

Who still uses **** magazines nowadays? Internet **** FTW!

Darknesskilla 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:41

The internet is for ****

dirtyblond 4

Friday 22 April 2011 0:50

I've heard that song!(x ^

IdontWanna69 8

Friday 22 April 2011 0:55

So grab your dick and double click...

sonic19951 6

Friday 22 April 2011 2:28

for ****!!

Miranday 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:45

Suck it up.

QueenOfBoredom 0

Friday 22 April 2011 2:32

he wishes that some girl would

aardvarkish 16

Friday 22 April 2011 0:47

I luv u geiz.

br0itstaylor 0

Friday 22 April 2011 1:02

is **** really necessary anymore these days?

weezer02 0

Friday 22 April 2011 1:04

lol thata funny :)

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The Top

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 232

You deserved it 20 261

Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 014

You deserved it 524

The Top

Today, I crawled under a table to plug a new lamp. When I tried to get up, I hit my head on the corner of the same table, getting me my fourth concussion in three years for trying to plug a f***ing lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 183

You deserved it 4 690

Today, my mom, for absolutely no reason, is interacting with an old "friend" (read: toxic bitch) whom I cut out of my life six months ago and I never want to hear about again. She doesn't understand what's wrong, nor does she care that it makes me uncomfortable. I hate her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 137

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 601

You deserved it 8 484

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "Should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 594

You deserved it 2 594

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 834

You deserved it 75 437

Today, my girlfriend and I threw a housewarming party we'd been planning for almost 2 months. Out of the 30 plus people I invited from work, literally nobody showed up. Not going to lie, I'm a little depressed about it. It's going to be hard to go to work and pretend I'm not upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 277