Intimacy: Communication tool

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 6 185

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 4 215

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 862

You deserved it 6 011

Shameless

By lying fuck! - 22/06/2020 14:02

Today, I walked into my husband's office and accidentally interrupted his business call to tell him dinner was ready. Silly me, I didn’t realize his "business call" included Skyping with his topless ex, with his pants down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 514

You deserved it 200

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 214

You deserved it 13 465

By Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 767

You deserved it 9 013

By jess - 24/12/2018 04:00

Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 221

You deserved it 332

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 5 152

kyat288 9

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:05

Wow, what a dick

SaturnV 25

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:05

Kind of a dick move on his part if you ask me.

Comments

off_constantly 8

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:19

Did it tickle?

perdix 29

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:24

At least you know he's in touch with his feelings! Women always say they want a man who can express his emotions, not just some boring stiff.

monkeyy22 6

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:30

What does your avatar mean?

prettyinpink03 11

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:40

I've always assumed that it is a play on the old "terror alert" system the U.S had.

perdix 29

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:42

#17, #25 got it right.

HKCgrimmjow 15

Thursday 11 October 2012 17:30

Well... She got a stiff but I'm sure it couldn't have been too boring

SApprentice 34

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:27

Why would he have thought that that's okay in the first place? I doubt he wants to see your parents genitalia, why would he show one of them his? That was an asshole move of him, and abusive too, because of the situation it has put you in. You two need to have a talk.

emilyjgraham 34

Thursday 11 October 2012 13:42

this is just a long was round of saying "get rid". if he didn't know she was skyping her mum then it's not too bad. maybe he didn't want to seem whiny by asking "why aren't you giving me attention?" maybe he thought it might have been a fun way to get ops attention!