Sex, Cheating and Intimacy: Confession time - FML

Confession time

By Noname - 05/03/2009 06:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 480

You deserved it 144 233

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/01/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 12 957

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 581

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Spicy

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 137

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 69 138

Simple plan

By Crish - 22/11/2020 05:05 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 168

Communication

By ohyaknow - 30/09/2010 09:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 009

You deserved it 37 695

Method acting

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 759

You deserved it 34 450

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 2 376

By evecamp - 10/02/2010 05:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 5 950

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 391

Next

Top comments

Bear_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 19:36

Pretty much looks like you both deserved that one...

ATchick_08 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 19:37

Haha... You both deserved it for being morons lmao

Comments

i_get_a_laugh 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 22:08

I'm sorry, but that was about the funniest thing I've heard in a while. What did you expect? You deserved that one.

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 22:21

Can anbody smell an orgy?

arcangel81 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 22:38

who's laughing now bitch?

florza 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:17

you should tell him how to please you, its not like he's psychic. Thats your fault

adam2 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:18

For all getting pissed of here...they both lied. "just to piss him off" implies it's not true, then he lied as a comeback.

somedude1 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:21

bwahahahahhahaahha owned

Sean123 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:23

pay back is a bitch, oh ho pay back is a bitch...........you deserved that one trying to get him pissed off

hellobob 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:28

ok its not her fault she was joking around! you're better of without him

squigglyshark 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 9:03

so was he, and besides her comment might be legitimate, while his definitely wasn't.

Don_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:38

Women that fake orgasms get what they deserve - a lover that never improves. Contrary to popular belief, we can usually tell the difference. I'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

dickweedfuck 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:47

Nice try.

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Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 11

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The Top

Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 97

Today, I went over to my mom’s place to attempt to help her clean up, as she’s a hoarder. I was devastated to see that in order to make room for all the unnecessary new crap she buys, she stored all of our childhood toys, photos and the like outside in uncovered bins. It’s all completely ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 124

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 742

You deserved it 10 848

Today, I had a job interview for a position at a police station. I asked to use the restroom and accidentally opened the wrong door, locking myself in a stairwell. I had to knock on the door until somebody let me out. Safe to say I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 192

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 016

You deserved it 3 798

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 944

You deserved it 6 819