Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 936
You deserved it 4 319
The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

iLike2Teabag 27

Holy mother of OP she's good.

394 11
giantsfan2010 23

She's good. How the hell do you do that in church with nobody noticing.

329 8

Comments

jelly_bennett 23

Good to know she has her priorities straight

5 3
vlalam 24

What's wrong some of these parents? talk abt teaching morals and values???

13 7
mishwarner 14

Haha guess your mum thinks you deserve a better life than just procreating. Either that or she thinks you're a terrible mum

3 13
Setareh23 34

So jacking someone off during church is having a better life than having children? Not to mention it doesn't say anywhere that OP does nothing but procreate. In any case, sure, she might think OP's a bad mom (even if she did that doesn't mean it's true). Or maybe she's just jealous and attention-seeking.

6 3
mishwarner 14

OP's mum was clearly talking about achievements. Her reaction indicates she wants her daughter to achieve in other ways

1 2
chosha_fml 26

At least you're sure you're pregnant. She can't be sure no-one noticed her little sex act.

17 3
chosha_fml 26

Congrats on your pregnancy, OP. Sorry you have a mother who feels the need to one up you, and has achieved so little that all she has to brag about is being a slag in church.

23 4
Llama_Face89 33

She's gonna be pretty pissed if God actually turns out to be real.

8 2
Sparta2424 10

i had to read that 3 times to make sure i read it right and im still not sure... :o

2 3