Intimacy: Cool story, tell it again - FML

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 439

You deserved it 12 423

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 2 436

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 561

You deserved it 9 971

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 6 271

Home movies

By Ex-girlfried - 06/09/2009 23:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 689

You deserved it 68 960

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Spicy

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 823

You deserved it 2 427

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 3 451

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 276

You deserved it 5 120

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 04:49 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 309

You deserved it 51 561

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 51 648

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 596

Next

Top comments

suppressed08 2

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:17

Good times...Goood times...

Serec 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:26

ahem, I watch **** on my iPod all night.

Comments

YeahCourse 4

Thursday 10 May 2012 2:19

YDI for not being more discreet and doin it while ur mom was there

meepingoreos 6

Tuesday 17 June 2014 14:05

Hey, birthday buddy! July 28 is mine too.

Keywords

Scams Money Food Relatable Health Parents Love Lonely Growing old Miscellaneous Work Games Cheating Weird Awkward Romantic Birthday Sex Intimacy Ironic Shopping Embarrassing Porn Sexting Restaurants Confused Cute Family Kids Music

The Top

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend. Some girl he knows invited us over to watch a movie. She spent the whole time ignoring the movie and clinging to him, trying to get him to stay, and completely ignoring the fact that I was there and that he was basically my ride. I felt like walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 124

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, after weeks of getting 4 auto-emails per day begging me to review my university's roommate matching service, I finally got one with a reply address. I sent an irate note and then realized I'd emailed the housing director. My housing contract is still pending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 3 590

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 203

You deserved it 3 320

Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 2 020

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 911

You deserved it 7 166

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 473

You deserved it 10 805

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 888

You deserved it 12 799