Intimacy: Cool story, tell it again

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 439

You deserved it 12 423

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 2 436

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 561

You deserved it 9 971

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 6 271

Home movies

By Ex-girlfried - 06/09/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 689

You deserved it 68 960

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 823

You deserved it 2 427

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 3 451

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 276

You deserved it 5 120

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 309

You deserved it 51 561

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 51 648

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 596

suppressed08 2

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:17

Good times...Goood times...

Serec 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:26

ahem, I watch **** on my iPod all night.

Comments

Jsalcedo23 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 5:43

it's okay all guys watch **** sometimes. but who gets caught? come on noob move

Rando77 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:12

What would we do without ****?

Nomazlab 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 4:27

You're mom's a bitch.

Pamnemo 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 21:46

you are moms a bitch?

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Wednesday 18 August 2010 0:46

No, "you are mom is a bitch".

sdroze1389 31

Saturday 18 January 2014 16:37

you're a fucktard. see that's the correct way to use "you're"

d4m4s74 12

Tuesday 24 August 2010 14:41

#49 watching **** isn't healthy on its own, but everyone does it anyway. masturbation (a side-effect of watching ****) however is

d4m4s74 12

Tuesday 24 August 2010 14:41

#49 watching **** isn't healthy on its own, but everyone does it anyway. masturbation (a side-effect of watching ****) however is

LifeSuckz0415 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 18:23

Wow, your mom is a bitch...

mhinaj 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 0:11

shut up no one cates

jenrique 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 14:57

It stops being embarrassing after you get caught a couple times:p

latinjukes 2

Thursday 8 September 2011 9:03

Ahhhh man! Parents are so sneaky!

afulks78 11

Monday 17 October 2011 5:11

So ? Who cares everyone does.

Keywords

Food Scams Money Parents Relatable Health Lonely Growing old Love Games Work Miscellaneous Weird Awkward Cheating Romantic Sex Intimacy Birthday Ironic Shopping Sexting Porn Embarrassing Restaurants Confused Kids Cute Family Music

The Top

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 512

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 996

You deserved it 92 883

The Top

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 413

You deserved it 56 258

Today, I found a video of my fiance staring into the camera while deep-throating a dildo, and then putting it other places. I have no idea who/what it was for, or how to talk to him about this, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his disinterest in me lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 182

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 7 690

Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 091

You deserved it 188

Today, my boyfriend bought me a ring for my birthday. My dad now refuses to talk to me, because he thinks I'm engaged. My boyfriend thinks it's funny, because he'd never marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 132

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 378

You deserved it 2 233