Intimacy: Cool story, tell it again

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 448

You deserved it 12 428

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 070

You deserved it 2 438

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 9 974

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 651

You deserved it 6 271

Home movies

By Ex-girlfried - 06/09/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 691

You deserved it 68 970

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 830

You deserved it 2 430

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 989

You deserved it 3 453

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 283

You deserved it 5 121

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 313

You deserved it 51 572

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 276

You deserved it 51 658

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 604

suppressed08 2

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:17

Good times...Goood times...

Serec 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 12:26

ahem, I watch **** on my iPod all night.

Comments

Jsalcedo23 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 5:43

it's okay all guys watch **** sometimes. but who gets caught? come on noob move

Rando77 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:12

What would we do without ****?

Nomazlab 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 4:27

You're mom's a bitch.

Pamnemo 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 21:46

you are moms a bitch?

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Wednesday 18 August 2010 0:46

No, "you are mom is a bitch".

sdroze1389 31

Saturday 18 January 2014 16:37

you're a fucktard. see that's the correct way to use "you're"

d4m4s74 12

Tuesday 24 August 2010 14:41

#49 watching **** isn't healthy on its own, but everyone does it anyway. masturbation (a side-effect of watching ****) however is

d4m4s74 12

Tuesday 24 August 2010 14:41

#49 watching **** isn't healthy on its own, but everyone does it anyway. masturbation (a side-effect of watching ****) however is

LifeSuckz0415 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 18:23

Wow, your mom is a bitch...

mhinaj 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 0:11

shut up no one cates

jenrique 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 14:57

It stops being embarrassing after you get caught a couple times:p

latinjukes 2

Thursday 8 September 2011 9:03

Ahhhh man! Parents are so sneaky!

afulks78 11

Monday 17 October 2011 5:11

So ? Who cares everyone does.

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The Top

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 167

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 997

You deserved it 68 601

The Top

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 594

You deserved it 1 043

Today, I found out my parents paid my "best friend" to be my friend for the past 7 years. She's my only friend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 118

Today, I waxed my asshole and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I had to shove toilet paper down my crack, because I have things to do that require me to get dressed and go out in public. It still bled through my trousers. It looks like I got my period, and I’m a 6”4 man with a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 156

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 210

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 817

You deserved it 2 323

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 795

You deserved it 28 904