Intimacy, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Creepy

Creepy

By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 358

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Same thing different taste

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 853

By blahblah493 - 26/05/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 085

You deserved it 6 640

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 42 025

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 698

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 111

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 099

You deserved it 5 138

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Hairy situation

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 020

You deserved it 9 464

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 206

You deserved it 3 302

JustKittyKat 24

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:46

Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.

surfbumblonde 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:49

The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.

Comments

Xxlaurahatakexx 9

Tuesday 2 October 2012 12:53

XD that's hilarious

drewcat21 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 12:54

Takes peek-a-boo to a whole new level... Weirdo.

sweetmama88 6

Tuesday 2 October 2012 12:54

I would have reported her to the owner of the store and see how funny she thought it was !

drewcat21 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 15:55

That seems a little drastic. Get a women fired over a joke? She could have kids she supports of that job? Seems a little insensitive.

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:01

Report her for what? If she kept going on after you said how uncomfortable her jokes make you feel, then you would have a complaint. Going to her manager without any attempt at all to stop uncomfortable behavior right then and there is nothing but a bitch move. Yeah, REAL sweet, you are.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Tuesday 2 October 2012 12:56

Lighten up, OP. it's awkwardly funny, which is the best kind of humor

missyfiona89 28

Tuesday 2 October 2012 13:04

Learn to take a joke.

Bostonman2 1

Tuesday 2 October 2012 13:07

Ya don't say?

Nanael_fml 4

Tuesday 2 October 2012 13:40

I find that hilarious she got jokes

llama612 27

Tuesday 2 October 2012 13:44

To everyone saying that the woman was trying to be funny we all get that, but honestly that wasn't a very good joke and it probs made OP quite uncomfortable because it's just such a random joke and the lady who said it would have been better off saying it to a friend or a regular customer not a new one. So I feel for OP because it would have just made the situation so much more awkward for her. It may be a funny joke but it's best to say it to someone you know will get your sense of humor

Plinkin 10

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:55

No where in the FML does OP say it was her first time. She could be a regular for all we know.

llama612 27

Tuesday 2 October 2012 19:01

You're right and I did notice that after, but I at least think if she was a regular then the girl she saw wasn't someone she had dealt with before it's just the impression I get from what OP said but I could be wrong.