Animals, Fear, Scary and Miscellaneous: Creepy - FML

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 3 368

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 3 059

Awwww, how sweet!

By Justin - 25/07/2020 20:00

Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 145

By sting - 06/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 658

You deserved it 16 479

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 223

You deserved it 3 109

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 132

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 238

By NotSpiderman - 31/10/2012 17:09 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 697

You deserved it 4 620

By QWERTY - 03/04/2011 23:20

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 184

You deserved it 18 249

By cricketsins - 14/05/2015 05:11 - United States

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 2 589

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 4 377

Next

Top comments

Calen5556 0

Monday 3 October 2011 23:45

In Texas we have those all the time. Had one in my bathroom this morning.

Ferretface 13

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:23

40- I'm closer to the appetizer portion of Texas myself.

Comments

YoNdO15 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 3:00

hahahah again :)

Seadizzle 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:07

I hope it wasn't a rare African butt hole dwelling scorpions. I guess you'll find out in the morning.

kit001 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 9:17

AGAIN?! Oh man, if I were you, it woulda only happened like NEVER! Never be desperate enough to have roommate owning scorpions. Do you not have any intelligence?

jsturaveragegirl 5

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:57

What kinda freak do you live with?

Edie84 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 0:44

Again??

Twisted_Angel 17

Thursday 6 October 2011 6:13

Lmao, that sucks!

suckmysarcasm 10

Friday 7 October 2011 7:13

simple solution...go find sub-zero : p

xxmusicroxxx 0

Monday 10 October 2011 6:17

Hello,Marriott!

RAUN 8

Saturday 3 December 2011 3:51

Find it with again, this time under the 10 pound barbell you buy this afternoon.

Leser98 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:08

Again?

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The Top

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 2 693

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 88

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML

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You deserved it 137

Today, nearly six months later, my incompetent, lazy coworker still refuses to believe I didn't screw my way to the promotion both of us were competing for. FML

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You deserved it 1 459

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 3 306

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 830

You deserved it 3 844

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 113

You deserved it 48 386