Gross, Babies and Kids: Cropduster

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 409

You deserved it 45 250

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Same thing different taste

Fussy eater

By germaphobe - 19/08/2021 20:59 - United States

Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 154

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

By Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 278

You deserved it 6 988

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 151

No soup for you

By jnisla - 11/10/2013 22:44 - United States - Conway

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 239

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 619

You deserved it 11 077

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 437

No soup for you

By unicornlove - 17/07/2020 20:01

Today, I was bringing a table a bowl of soup at my waitressing job. A new customer taking off his coat threw his elbow out, violently knocking the soup out of my hands and onto his baby in a highchair. The baby screamed; I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 160

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 8 863

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 548

You deserved it 4 518

tick_tock 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:14

#8 I hope you are kidding because why on Earth doesn't he deserve to be a dad? He was just playing with his baby. I have pictures of my mother spinning me around in the air and it is something many parents do. Cut him some slack, honestly, at least he didn't drop her when she was vomiting.

ohhboyy 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:21

babies throw up all the time they're like mini drunks

Comments

wowfmlife 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:57

Impressing some guest by spinning my new baby in the air? What are you, an 8 year old on Christmas??

kendalle_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 23:09

I'm pretty sure he wasn't like attaching the kid to the ceiling fan, but rather playing a game like airplane like almost all parents do with their babies... Spinning might not be a great word for it, but i don't think he was tossing the kid up and making it flip. And lots of people like seeing a dad play games with a baby and the baby laughing.

Muchu91 0

Friday 15 May 2009 23:31

Projectile vomit! hilarious XD

Danieeru 0

Friday 15 May 2009 23:33

#12...the baby threw up. The guy didn't throw her.

xflora 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 0:52

"Sympathy spewer". I lol'd. :)

Mnemic 5

Saturday 16 May 2009 9:59

'I've a loaded baby and I'm not afraid to use it.'

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:25

I'd be hiding in a bunker if that happened. I bet your wife was so mad.

YDIdouche 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 12:06

Refer to username.

kksoccer22 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 15:18

im sorry but u r really retarted y would u do tht over the dinner table with guests over!!! stupid head!!! if u have to impress ppl by doing tht get a life kid!!

liveitlearnit 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 17:19

Since you called this baby a 'new baby' I'm going to have to assume that you're trying to kill her with Shaken Baby Syndrome. You really shouldn't be spinning an infant. It's not a good plan.