Gross, Smells and Health: Deez nutz

Deez nutz

By balls - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Clara

Today, the only reason I took a shower was because I could smell my dick sweat while still wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 30 960

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Top comments

trellz17 19

Friday 2 October 2015 16:53

What do you mean "the only reason"?

Arieslink 22

Friday 2 October 2015 16:51

That's pretty nasty.

Comments

flyingflies 36

Friday 2 October 2015 22:33

why does this have so many FYLs?

isaak_sanchez 18

Friday 2 October 2015 22:44

OP is from Cali and you know their water struggles

punmessiah 28

Friday 2 October 2015 23:03

you're disgusting

Durka531 7

Friday 2 October 2015 23:12

heh I do something similar, if I don't plan on being in public I don't shower.

SecundusSecunda 27

Friday 2 October 2015 23:23

I've always wondered what warrants a comment section block from the FML staff, apart from those FML'S with the potential to become a flame war.

MadJessTic 29

Friday 2 October 2015 23:50

That's just nasty...

Erksangel 25

Saturday 3 October 2015 0:07

Okay that's just nasty!!!!

sighlifeman 12

Saturday 3 October 2015 0:34

tmi dawg

LadyTyger51ne 8

Saturday 3 October 2015 0:52

Axe works better on a clean body.

gunnerblaster 21

Saturday 3 October 2015 1:20

You're one disgusting dude. You're part of the reason why the unhygienic stereotype for males exists.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

The Top

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 564

You deserved it 50 938

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local Pizza Hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 583

You deserved it 2 606

Today, I was expected by my supervisor to drive out to one of our office's server locations. My car was dead and I couldn't go unless he gave me a ride, as he's the only coworker local to me; he couldn't because he's on vacation. I sent him a video of my car failing to crank. He responded, "You need to be more mobile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 148

Today, my friends and I went to the beach. We were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I noticed that a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 405

You deserved it 53 830

Today, my psycho ex tried to call the cops on me for "poisoning her food." I live two hours away from her, and have no money or gas to go anywhere near her. Turns out, she poisoned herself for eating raw chicken and pizza dough. I have a child with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 353

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 4 359