Intimacy: Dirty mind - FML

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 514

You deserved it 15 208

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Same thing different taste

By areyouserious - 29/02/2012 10:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 550

You deserved it 37 246

By the critic - 18/06/2012 10:22 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Spicy

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 356

You deserved it 6 020

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 9 297

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 6 490

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 015

You deserved it 9 488

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 757

On a loop

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 05:00 - United States - St Louis

Spicy

Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 474

By montanadinosaur - 26/04/2015 04:05 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 176

You deserved it 10 783

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Spicy

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 349

You deserved it 403

By waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 374

You deserved it 93 769

Next

Top comments

ChaCerCam 14

Saturday 9 August 2014 5:47

If you were that angry over a guys ass crack, just watch lesbian ****?

xxbvbsusanxx 21

Saturday 9 August 2014 5:45

I'm sorry OP, maybe you should just take a nap?

Comments

DigitalDoctor 2

Tuesday 12 August 2014 2:40

10 minutes asscrack and balls, No thank you!!

its_jonny_bro 16

Wednesday 13 August 2014 7:23

Im sorry but i just laughed so hard

AFaye3964 17

Monday 18 August 2014 3:25

I know ill prob get a ton of dislikes buuuut thats the funniest thing i ever read!

LRSandTJB412 8

Tuesday 9 September 2014 9:20

Uhh..find a different video?

LifeSucks676 5

Saturday 27 October 2018 8:05

Just put on a different one.

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Jealousy Friends Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 824

You deserved it 4 306

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 3 748

The Top

Today, after years of being underpaid, I received my first paycheck at my new job. My new employer offers excellent benefits and a 401k. But after I invest in all these wonderful things, and after a $4 an hour pay increase, my net income is less than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 182

Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 529

You deserved it 1 507

Today, I dropped off my visibly-upset Uber passengers off at a funeral. I absentmindedly said, “Good luck, have fun!” as they got out. Needless to say, I got my first 1-star rating today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 082

Today, I went to the doctor with serious digestive issues, only to be told off the bat that I just need to drink more water. She wasn’t interested to hear that 1) I already drink the recommended daily amount and 2) drinking when I don’t feel like it fucks up my system even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 123

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 447

Today, a customer yelled at me because I wouldn’t sell her a boneless chicken bucket with extra fries, beans, coleslaw and Pepsi. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 74