Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 625

You deserved it 10 475

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 17 967

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 093

You deserved it 16 272

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 126

You deserved it 7 128

Good girl

By bianca131 - 10/11/2015 03:42 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 998

You deserved it 8 212

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 1 909

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 9 764

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 130

You deserved it 6 179

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

Wakachulak 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 12:58

Well, at least you know she hasn't done anything.

Alyxi 20

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:00

are you sure she wasn't just trying to play along?

Comments

AloysiusWeasley 15

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:04

Your reply should've been "No, you've been a very bad girl, and made me very hard. Now I'm going to have to spank you to teach you a lesson."

krad204 21

Sunday 23 February 2014 5:22

It's probably role play, get with it man!

gabagabaheyu 10

Sunday 23 February 2014 5:23

awe, cute.

yorkie_16 15

Sunday 23 February 2014 6:16

That really sucks.. Awkward moments ftw.. Wonder how that played out after haha

IAmSMRT 2

Sunday 23 February 2014 11:14

Please don't have children with that moron.....

kilullu 16

Sunday 23 February 2014 20:04

What did you tell her?

mynameisfinn 4

Sunday 23 February 2014 22:46

be afraid be very afraid

magymofucka 9

Sunday 23 February 2014 22:50

haha. aww. that is so ******* cute.

marziaita 6

Monday 24 February 2014 3:01

blonde or not blonde?

Fenrir_The_Wolf 1

Monday 24 February 2014 4:20

So close..

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 118

The Top

Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 821

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 956

You deserved it 4 208

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 096

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 461

You deserved it 6 104

Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 139

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 429

You deserved it 838