Work: Dumbass

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Dumbass

By notrocketscience - 07/05/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 414

You deserved it 3 769

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 08:40 - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 2 506

Messy

By Danielle Heichelbech - 15/11/2020 20:01

Today my 28-year-old husband got bored while cleaning the car. So he decided to stage a "crumb sacrifice to the vacuum gods" to "ensure a bountiful harvest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 312

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 695

By anonymous - 26/01/2013 08:42 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 218

You deserved it 5 653

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 020

You deserved it 13 625

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 292

You deserved it 37 763

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 255

You deserved it 3 186

By JB - 07/12/2011 14:29 - United States

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 015

You deserved it 28 760

Silly idiot

By Heather - 04/03/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 3 698

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 03:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 908

You deserved it 5 785

SkoomaKi 27

Monday 7 May 2012 18:54

The intelligence is strong with this one. He improvised, give him some credit there.

Redoxx_fml 22

Monday 7 May 2012 18:53

Smartest man ever

Comments

buildajay 4

Monday 7 May 2012 22:21

Pure genius

iHateHippiesToo 6

Monday 7 May 2012 22:35

YDI - You have to have some standards on who you bed.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 7 May 2012 22:43

How do you "bed" someone? Or is just some outdated slang them ol' people use.

iHateHippiesToo 6

Monday 7 May 2012 22:56

It's outdated slang us old people use.

dangfuyinwa 2

Monday 7 May 2012 22:46

haha.let me think

bobbymiles67 0

Monday 7 May 2012 22:47

******* moron

KarmaKoin 0

Monday 7 May 2012 23:10

Your husband must be a very smart man.

ajpopoca88 3

Monday 7 May 2012 23:27

is this the same father that had a one night stand with the nurse?? cus if soo he really needs to assess his problems

downtime 12

Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:40

...Worst FML reference ever.

maxsonje 0

Monday 7 May 2012 23:39

That is smart way to think on his toes

oathkeeper99 31

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:13

Makes sense to me

NNR 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:27

For not having the right supply's he had a halfway decent idea.

imlovedrunkjw 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 0:41

I see that u refuse to call him ur ex or fiancé or husband just ur sons father lol!

1crabbygirl 10

Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:02

or maybe that's all he is. this could reinforce her lament at being attached to him indefinitely since they share progeny, or the start of an argument regarding child support.