Love, Health, Fire and Miscellaneous: Easily distracted

Easily distracted

By Jeanine - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 365

You deserved it 5 827

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 4 755

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 248

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 921

You deserved it 10 431

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 545

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 248

You deserved it 1 256

Happy New Leg

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 560

You deserved it 4 511

By oh why... - 20/12/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 451

You deserved it 4 490

Piss off, basically

By lonelyandcold - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 1 929

Effed up

By sunny_funny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 352

You deserved it 1 193

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 801

You deserved it 2 578

dontbegayy 0

Friday 29 May 2009 11:30

dump him .

redbluegreen 40

Friday 29 May 2009 11:31

And you want to marry someone so absent minded?

Comments

The_Foreigner886 1

Saturday 30 May 2009 7:24

I'm sorry, but your finace is an idiot. I hope that you have him pay to replace everything. You deserve someone better, I hope that things work out for you...

nodbor 11

Saturday 30 May 2009 8:04

take him to Subway........

deathproof_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 8:15

Call off that engagement, NOW. What a stupid little ******.

trapiadora 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 8:24

Wow he is an idiot . He must have been baked for sure.

loldude1337 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 10:25

ur fiance is a dumbass

doll_face 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 10:34

so let me get this straight -- there was a black out, and your fiance lit a candle and set them on a stack of papers and then left because (through some divine force) he began craving tacos after smelling smoke. i'm not sure if you're familiar with the distance that light can travel, but i'm pretty sure that it can travel farther than the length of a room - and the last i checked, it takes a little more than just setting a candle on top of a stack of papers to start a fire. bless your soul because you must have lost so many important things and yet you find it important to submit this story to fml. sorry but i don't believe it. however, if it's true, i'd call your fiance a dipshit; but hey, it could be worse - he/she could be obsessed with WoW.

zeroprojekt 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:50

Bail on that sucker now! Next time it could be your kid! "Oh, well, the baby started making choking noises so I went to call 911 and left the house again. How was I supposed to know she'd get baked like a cake if I left the house?!" ):