Pranks, Awkward, Drugs and Parents: EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW! - FML

EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW!

By UnfortunateGirly - 26/02/2010 08:30 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 298

You deserved it 6 370

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Same thing different taste

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 495

By NoFriends - 02/08/2009 17:12 - United States

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 961

You deserved it 7 548

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 129

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 40 986

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 2 815

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 4 478

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 648

You deserved it 4 834

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 209

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 826

You deserved it 25 015

Next

Top comments

stinkytruck 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:05

better than " spread them wider baby"

socaldgaf69 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:11

haha who gives a shit my friends say that all the time. that's Nothing to post about so stop bitching YDI

Comments

Orianna_fml 0

Monday 8 March 2010 18:32

Eugh my mates piss about like that too, I was grounded for a week once because when my dad rang me, my old friend decided to shout "pull your pants up!" in the background. :|

TheRedPhantom 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 7:40

they should be hung. that's no joke. assholes. tryna **** up tea time. next time they are on the phone with one of there folks: wisper, in a light, panty voice, say "watch them teeth, baby. Hay, it's $25, right?"

ran_fml 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 2:09

It's better when you tell your wasted friend to call up his mother and tell her he's doing coke.

iAMroaaar 0

Monday 19 April 2010 10:22

the exact same thing happened to me except my names Livy and i was on the phone to my dad

varkey 7

Monday 24 May 2010 7:35

my friends did this exact thing to me once... not like my mom actually believed it for a second because she knows i'm not a bad kid.

englandlover 5

Friday 4 June 2010 7:56

hahaha my guy friends usually say "put ur pants on!" my mom's used 2 it by now

L33ch 4

Wednesday 9 June 2010 1:22

Me and my friends do this all the time. None of us have ever gotten into trouble with parents, either they don't care or (more likely) they know we're kidding although usually we're not

ZombieKitteh 8

Thursday 24 June 2010 3:39

LOL I've done that so many times

jcdj1996 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 7:07

Everyone's friends do that! my friends are worse though, they make sex noises. my mom just lol'ed

missmontreal97 4

Sunday 1 August 2010 1:03

omg ur such a baby. friends do that all the time. my mom is way protective about me. and she started LAUGHING when my bestfriend said "pass the beer".

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Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Mental health Work Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 324

You deserved it 2 005

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

The Top

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 710

You deserved it 2 982

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 076

You deserved it 27 282

Today, I found out my son’s middle name was named after my wife’s muscled up highschool ex-boyfriend who cheated on her and who she sometimes still brings up. She tells me it’s nothing and still acts like I’m crazy for communicating my worry to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 152

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 334

You deserved it 40 733

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 445

You deserved it 2 954

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 545

You deserved it 21 939