Pranks, Awkward, Drugs and Parents: EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW! - FML

EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW!

By UnfortunateGirly - 26/02/2010 08:30 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 298

You deserved it 6 370

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Same thing different taste

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 495

By NoFriends - 02/08/2009 17:12 - United States

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 961

You deserved it 7 548

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 129

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 40 986

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 2 815

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 4 478

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 648

You deserved it 4 834

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 209

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 826

You deserved it 25 015

Next

Top comments

stinkytruck 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:05

better than " spread them wider baby"

socaldgaf69 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:11

haha who gives a shit my friends say that all the time. that's Nothing to post about so stop bitching YDI

Comments

WakingTheFallen 2

Friday 26 February 2010 20:40

It's happened to me before, but they usually say things like "You can put on your pants now Bee" or "Uh, Bee, that was so much fun". I'm used to it. xD

tokintot07 0

Friday 26 February 2010 20:42

haha I did that to my friend once. her mom believed it.

penisinyourmouf 0

Friday 26 February 2010 22:15

hows that an fml ur stupid cuz that happens all the time

rOBboCOp 0

Friday 26 February 2010 22:18

lmao i alwys get that from my friends instead they go like "No i dont like it down there!!"

Ultimate_Cynic 0

Friday 26 February 2010 22:42

FYL? Oh HELL no. At least you had a bong to pass!

geoLa16 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:02

those r fucken bad friends 

softballer22 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:04

people do it all the time, my friends do it to me. so quit yer bitchin' and suck it up.

Ducati45 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:40

who hasn't done that and had it happen to them? Be young and carefree :)

Xupz_fml 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:10

Come on... who doesn't do that? I can't believe your mom bought that, all of my friends always yell stuff like that while I'm on the phone. Stop whining.

kbrizzle 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:41

rofl, damn, ah well when friends do that to me i go, i gtg hit his shit one more time ily ttyl :D

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Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 397

You deserved it 14 503

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 723

You deserved it 13 099

The Top

Today, my 33-year-old brother told my 10-year-old daughter that clouds are made by factories blowing smoke. My daughter laughed at him and he got upset. He still believed my dad's lie from 25 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 188

You deserved it 667

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 9 041

Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 153

Today, my dad's last words before he fell into a coma, and later died, were about how he wanted to stick his face in the ass of his 20-something nurse and motorboat her cheeks. I had to lie to my mother and say that his last words were that he wanted to see her again before the end. Thanks dad, NOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 194

That is one thirsty pig!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 84

Today, my mom sent me a text that said "You're my favorite!" and I got all emotional. Then I realized she'd accidentally sent it to our family group chat. My siblings were furious, and she tried to backtrack by calling all of us her "favorites." FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 99