Miscellaneous: Fight Club

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 55 526

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 798

By brokennose - 26/08/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 784

You deserved it 67 562

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 936

You deserved it 4 885

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 66 025

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 35 758

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 3 325

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:27

Never challenge drunks, even if you think they're joking. Period.

scottiealan 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 19:37

WTF don't mess with drunks! they are always serious with what they say, why do u think they tell you their secrets

Comments

mR_StAtiiC 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 0:45

Ydi for messing around with a drunk. :)

buddyboy50000000 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 1:27

ydi for not knowing how to fight

wallcat 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:49

that is why you carry a thing of mace or wasp spray around. wasp spray actually works like mace.

richboii 0

Friday 1 July 2011 4:26

if your a guy carrying mace that makes you a pussy....

BetterUThanMe 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 5:19

YDI for not putting up a good fight.

AJROCKS09 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 5:29

wow u got ur ass handed to u by a drunk pussy

MyDirtyPillows 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 1:43

Vaginas can't become intoxicated.

JSM1986 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 6:53

so your friends just stood there and watched you get your ass kicked? What a bunch bitches.

Schooled 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 17:06

LMFAO at least you had the balls to fight him

l0v3p4in 7

Wednesday 4 August 2010 6:56

Moral of the Story :- Keep drinking and you will never loose!!

nuggetFAIL 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:18

u know ur stupid when...

Chadly4life 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 15:23

Yah I'm kinda on the fence about this one!! yah don't challenge drunk there don't think straight!!

AtOmiK_R3ApEr 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:32

The worst thing is he got beat up by a drunk guy hahahahaha

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

The Top

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 831

You deserved it 9 686

Today, I found out my 36 year-old wife has been cyberstalking an 18 year old-girl for a week. Why? Because the girl doesn’t believe in QAnon. I found out when my wife’s online business started getting backlash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 100

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 276

You deserved it 2 003

Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 264

You deserved it 3 059

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 279

You deserved it 6 378

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 382

You deserved it 47 880

Fight Club

Same thing different taste

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