Awkward, Public freakouts and Miscellaneous: Fighting talk

Fighting talk

By bathroomblunder - 07/03/2010 02:38 - Canada

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 894

You deserved it 4 548

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 143

By shyshy96679 - 20/06/2011 22:42 - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 110

You deserved it 3 884

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 115

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 509

You deserved it 732

On the can

By Mortified - 31/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 200

Sorry!

By rabid_otaku - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Sycamore

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 460

You deserved it 2 985

By Wrongtoilet - 12/07/2010 08:28 - Singapore

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 859

You deserved it 5 462

Concentrate

By um…ew - 14/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 927

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 877

You deserved it 2 785

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 97

strandedinalimo 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:08

DO YOU??

Quest_ 13

Sunday 7 March 2010 9:09

YDI for being one of those people who don't wait for a response after knocking and before entering. Knocking means "Is it okay if I come in?", not "I'M COMING IN NOW!!!"

Comments

thenumberblue 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 10:27

snickerdoodles, maybe ydi for repeating what everyone else is saying.

fisheatsbear 6

Sunday 7 March 2010 10:32

repeating what everyone else is saying? she's #7

Giorgio272 2

Sunday 7 March 2010 10:39

why wipe it off when you can lick it off. mm just like a chocolate milkshake only creamy. Nom Nom Nom.

Beeeeef 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 11:17

maybe she was so old, she was deaf and so couldnt hear the knocking.

Smackaho 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 11:44

hey snicker I think you might wanna look into a nose job DO YOU?

Aurik 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:29

You should've said yes you indeed will wipe her ass if it gets her out if there faster! :P

Quest_ 13

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:57

**** off, Smackaho. ******* idiot.

perdix 29

Sunday 7 March 2010 13:07

Then, after you used the bathroom, you went to place your order and guess who was your barista? I'll bet you regretted not giving the old lady enough time to wash her hands.