Sex, Sextoys and Intimacy: First time, last time - FML

First time, last time

By tuggernuts - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 593

You deserved it 44 766

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Top comments

chocolatepandas 2

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:00

So that's why Justin Bieber's voice is so high...just kidding he doesn't have a penis.

banstrom17 4

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:00

At least u didnt suck them both up!

Comments

Eye_Eat_Brains 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:01

142- untalentless? the ****?

twtwaldron 5

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:01

Thats unfortunate

crankawank 19

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:08

You can't really blame him for wanting to have a more SIZABLE **** because of all the pressure these days to look like a pornstar. Sure, it's better to be confident but the media gets to ya. I fancy myself a pretty confident kid, but even I feel inadequate about my body sometimes. If people were totally confident about themselves, the plastic surgery and boob augmentation industry wouldn't be so lucrative. People are bound to feel insecure.

chucky_13 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:17

Why you using a goddamn penis pump XD

animal50199 10

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:22

Well at least you have the right one left.

diegocasillas89 3

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:28

So now instead of having two oval shaped testicles u have an oddball now that kinda sucks but it's kinda funny

kaylib7162 6

Wednesday 18 July 2012 0:04

Dude what happened to your other posts??? I was liking how every one was trying to fight and bad mouth you and u stuck up for yourself!!!

crankawank 19

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:34

By this logic, women who get breast augmentation and suffer some kind of negative consequence were totally asking for it. Not saying anything is wrong with that opinion, I'd just like to point that out.

Gucciman95 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:37

I bet that hurt bro aha I wanted to use one but not anymore haha

rcgirl2 11

Tuesday 17 July 2012 22:41

You do know those don't work, right?

esines 9

Tuesday 17 July 2012 23:14

Thats still above average so your post makes no sense...

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