Intimacy: Freedom

Freedom

By Lovejunkie - 01/03/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 8 664

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Same thing different taste

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 4 729

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 908

You deserved it 225

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 4 700

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 171

You deserved it 2 901

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 6 032

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 339

You deserved it 5 481

Let down

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 379

Is that it?

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 283

You deserved it 2 390

Small is beautiful

By dickless wonder - 21/10/2023 10:00

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 186

Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 142

You deserved it 28 447

moonshine_bek 2

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!

Neotoxx 5

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

LOL I feel bad for that guy

Comments

youradhere 0

Monday 1 March 2010 21:09

well this post pretty much explains the divorce

YaWk3Y_BoMb3r 0

Monday 1 March 2010 21:12

what if it was like 12 in. long, just no width. haha she didn't say it was too short. small is a subjective word

poopmonster05 3

Monday 1 March 2010 21:23

lmfao. trueeeeee.

blademaster23 0

Monday 1 March 2010 21:29

ur falt *****!!

ScaryyMary 14

Monday 1 March 2010 22:03

Falt *****?

Menick47 0

Monday 1 March 2010 21:52

Oh he'll add on to it... with a really realistic *****.

clintdog1 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:09

size matters

fishyfingaz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:40

The **** is always greener on the other side!

F_duke_665 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:47

damn asians

twisted_eyes 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:53

poor guy. can't get laid.

paul924 0

Monday 1 March 2010 22:59

that's all fake! if ur drunk u wouldn't have noticed that his penis was small at all, u wouldn't have even remembered that night

fits138 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 7:58

not everyone blacks out when they drink... I can drink pretty heavily and remember everything I've done the night before... and I rarely drink.

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Intimacy Ironic AITA Alcohol Transportation Drunk Am I overreacting? Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 211

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 405

You deserved it 4 186

The Top

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 686

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 2 090

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 866

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 4 187

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 570

You deserved it 30 921

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years and I broke up right before my sister's wedding, because he didn't want to be there when we found out he gave the both of us an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 611

You deserved it 819

Same thing different taste

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